Breaking news! The fight is off!

 Mr Anonymous has reliably informed me that Butler "Stagefright" Ad has had to pull out of this weekend's blockbuster showdown against the Strip Club Bouncer and Rugby Rascal due to injury.

What a shame.

He sustained a pinky injury while attempting to build partnering the best player in the world (Gganbu).

Video courtesy of ORA-Rick^

As you can see, Butlerad was mercilessly pumped by Rick and Chuki, and so is in no shape to be facing the Cuzzies this weekend. He's done the hourable thing and had the humility to pull out of the match.

Ad intends to have some practice bouts back down at tier 4 level once his pinky successfully heals.

In the meantime, we are looking for someone else to step in and take up Ad's position this weekend.

Regards,

Ground control to Major Crush.

Enough!

 Right I am not a happy bunny. Mr Anonymous has had to call me down from headquarters to intervene in the current situation.

The situation? Ad has set up a 2v2 for the weekend partnering Blitz against Kickn and Hezb.

Well I am here to officially get the towel in to prevent a serious injury. This is not a fair match up and should not go ahead. There is absolutely zero prospect of the 2 1-dimensional tankers Snakeblitz and Butlerad walking away with a win so stop the match before it happens. Referee don't ring the bell! Such a match will result in life changing injuries for the back to back 2x butler of the year.

Literally 1 Tesla at gate and cuzzies win virtually every map. Stop this BS and find a better solution and fairer match up. Can Ad stick to division 3 games with Dutchy, Yuz and Maud please.

I'm officially doing Ad a favour and stopping this match before it happens so he doesn't need to find an excuse this time. Maybe KOBA and Teski can replace cuzzies so we get a fair game?

Also Mr Anonymous has let me know that Nate and Maud have officially split up. They're hoping their separate ways after a lovers' tiff. Does any clan have room for a camp Romanian dancing bodybuilder?

Mr Anonymous tells me bigD is now nowhere to be seen after his little alarming Twitch outburst. Maybe he has heard Gganbu is back online and doesn't want to be humbled yet again ? Must hurt being constantly reminded you are 2nd best. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Thanks for reading.

Not a happy bunny! 🐰 Chief Crush 

I would add some new icons to CnCNet Lobby.

We all know about Gold Medal 🏅 icon. It's out of date. I propose adding a new series of icons which better define a player and make them easier to identify.

Firstly, the shit icon 💩 I would give to:

Blitz - A snake who likes to shit stir between players (eg me and beast) and is proven to be very two-faced.

Fighter - A disloyal lagger who thinks it's ok to screenshot my private conversations and send them to known rats like Butcher

Robskate - The shittest admin of all time as well as the shittest pro p4 player 2v2 all time. Absolutely useless as an admin he was. Rob used his admin powers about as often as Lordy uses his salad bowl.

Cap - A weirdo who makes pals with unsavoury individuals then laughs at my expense while trying to be pals. 

Ad - A shitty C tier player and butler who think he is good and who literally shits the bed and doesn't turn up when he's set up a match.

Nate - The biggest pussy and dodger in history of RA. No balls whatsoever.

Dynamic - An arrogant, jealous and delusional moron who can't accept his place as 2nd best and so starts an unfair smear campaign against the universally proven better player, Gganbu. 

San - A semi nub who can't defend a 5 tank rush. 

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I would award the 😂 icon to the following,

Bart - a fucking legend and underappreciated God of the modern game.

Rushy - Greatness personified

Leigh - 😂 haggis junkie

Oldpro - for being so delusional it's funny

_________________________________

Star icon ⭐ I would award to:

N8Diaz - For taking out the trash and doing a stellar job of growing the game and making it player friendly in the face of trolls and haters. Yoyo well done bro.

Yuz - Nastykiller himself. Single handedly ruined Nate and Maud's 10 year romance. Subscribe to Yuz on Onlyfans for exclusive mammies and Nastykiller content. He gives free previews on his Twitch daily but I recommend you buy an Onlyfans package if you want to get the full experience. 

Kickn - An entrepreneur who has shown great savvy in suggesting ideas such as Dildocoin and Harmonicacoin.

Get it set up Diaz. If you need icons for other players feel free to give me a shout and I'll cast my verdict free of charge.

Thanks for reading

Coinmaster Crushy, the Keeper of the Keys