Clinical Psychology case study: Red Alert players

 Red Alert 1 on CnCNet is a fantastic emporium if you wish to study a range of psychological personality disorders. Many of the most famous players have their own unique psychological issues and traumas. I will provide an analysis of some of these most prominent issues so that you may increase your knowledge and awareness.


Oldpro - narcissism. Forgive Oldpro for seeming to be quite delusional and the best at everything he does, far exceeding reality. He's been mollycoddled and spoiled as a child and so was brought up to believe he was simply God's gift despite the fact that the evidence in the mirror displays a large protruding forehead and a distinctively large nose. Next time you see Oldpro ranting about how he's the God at building (when in reality he is KOBA level) just remember it's his narcissism shining through.

Lordy - addictive personality disorder. Lordy has Neanderthal brain. Once his animal bear brain realises he likes something he has no "off" switch. Be it gambling, alcohol, salami or best ofs, Lordy is completely hopeless in his fight with addictions. We should pray to Jesus for him as this is the only way he can overcome his shortcomings. The bear is always gagging for a best of 23 hours a day/365 days a year.

Beasty - PTSD. Beasty exhibits the classic signs of post traumatic stress disorder. Memories of being abused and neglected are what cause him to sometimes appear quite prickly and touchy. However underneath it all he's just a human being wanting a hug and a bit of kindness.

NastyNate - crippling anxiety. Nate is terrified of losing a 1v1 and his ego suffering damage so parades around looking for followers to placate him to avoid any threat to his self worth.

Muad Dib - stockholm syndrome/codependency. Muad has latent repressed homosexual tendencies and desires. This is proven by his obsession with ballroom dancing and physique. Underneath his aggressive bark, he really just wants a man to look after him, protect him and make him feel pretty. Just bare this in mind next time you think it is ok to ridicule him.

Dutchy - bipolar disorder. Sometimes our bald favourite ex soldier is "happy as Larry". Other times he shrieks like a proverbial banshee. You are never quite sure which sort of mood you will get Dutchy in. He is well loved by the community despite clearly not being right in the head. 

Thanks for reading,

Stay tuned for more.

Dr Crush.


A Festive Note from Crush

 This is The CrushyBoo speaking.

Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas time and a happy New year. Hope 2026 is less shit than 2025 for you. Hope those of you with family and friends have a great time, and for those of you incel loners hope you extra enjoy your fleshlight and Doritos during the holiday season .

Next year Red Alert 1 will celebrate 30 years of existence 🍾. This goes to show how old we are all getting. Relax. It's just a game. Grow wise in your old age like me and realise it's just a dumb game. Don't lose your hair like Oldpro did over this game.

Keep calm and tank.

I suggest 2026 should be an amnesty for everyone. The mentally ill/semi-retard Neanderthal players such as Dutchy and Lordy should be unmuted like everyone else so they can eat their Lego loudly and proudly once again.

Thanks for reading,

Orange Crush 🍊 

Player of the Year 2025 and Butler of the Year 2025

 2025. A year I played for a grand total of about 5 hours so way too rusty to form much of an opinion. Fortunately, however, the 2 main awards are very obvious so I won't keep you in suspense...


The award for Player of the Year 2025 goes to Pride aka San . Everyone's favourite Asian American Red Alert streamer dominated the competition this year and was the standout performer of the year. No controversy here and for once, no debate from any party. Even the £200k German crypto Porsche driver (Dynamic) is in agreement as to Pride's superiority. The best credit to San is that he does his talking on the battlefield and doesn't beef with anyone. Some may call it boring and autistic but a lack of personality coupled with robotic precision is refreshing in the red alert 1 scene. Congratulations San and I hope you extra enjoy your sweet and sour sauce tonight champ ! 🏆 


Butler of the Year is also obvious for 2025. Fighter's personal fleshlight aka Ad has regained his title. Another year spent dick hopping by Ad culminated in getting shagged senseless by Fighter in their recent 1v1 match. At this point, Fighter literally uses Ad as a training tool for his dick for when it comes to facing a proper opponent. Another year of Ad spent doing what he does best - trash talking then getting pumped - made this an easy award to issue. Congratulations Ad on becoming a 3* BUTLER OF THE YEAR (2022,2023,2025). Commiserations to last year's valiant winner, Toshy, who has been demoted to dishwasher. 


Congratulations to both winners and good luck for next year.


That's all folks,


Crushy O' Boo Boo







C Tier Players

What do we mean by C tier?  We mean a semi-ok player who is better than average and not a noob, but also someone who isn't really good enough to compete with regular pros especially in 2v2.


A key characteristic of a C tier player will be someone who knows what needs to be done but is just not as good at executing it. Another characteristic might be they are good at one small aspect of the game but their general range of skills fall short of being good enough. Eg fighter is good at tanking but not that great at other stuff. OldPro is a GOD at 10cy building (even stronger than players like kicknass at that) but pretty useless at other game aspects. 


So overall you have a picture of what constitutes a C tier player... Someone who warms the bench on the basketball team and can contribute in little spells but isn't going to get full game time or starters minutes. Someone who will hold the door open for the coach and be the bottle carrier and get a sniff of 5 minutes on the court from time to time. However if you play with C tier players as your teammate you will lose most games but it will be more respectful than if you teamed up with a total nub.


Here are 5 examples of players who I think clearly fall into this category and most would agree:


OldPro 

Fighter

Ad

Diaz

Dutchy


There are many more but these are some obvious C tier players I think of when I think of 2v2.


Thanks for reading.


Stay tuned for more.


Big Dawg CrushyBoo.


The RA25. THE FABULOUS FIVE.

 It's time for the top 5. Some may disagree on the exact order I have placed these players in - it's subjective and open to debate. Remember this is a rankings based on my own perspective in 2v2 from playing or partnering these guys, factoring in how difficult I found each opponent based on their skillset. This is a 2v2 rankings not 1v1. Whatever you think, I'm sure many would agree that the 5 players I am about to name are very worthy and deserving to be in the top 5 2v2. So here we go... Let me know if you agree 👍


5. Bea5ty (Kosovo) 48/50


Perhaps Bea5ty is featured lower than some people might expect. After all he is an extremely strong player. I gave him full marks for unlimited ore, gem maps, tactics but unlike the top 4 I had to take away some points for ore maps (he's still great just not AS great on ore maps) and also teamwork. When I think about top 5 I think of cyborg type players who are extremely difficult to beat and wins are rare. Sometimes Bea5ty does have the tendency to make some weird plays or even semi-trolling, whatever it is - he doesn't have the same killer instinct and ruthless precision as the 4 higher ranked players and that does matter at the most elite of levels. If i had a must-win game I would rather see Bea5ty on the other 2v2 team instead of these 4 other guys and that's what it boils down to - he is slightly more beatable in my experience if that makes sense.  


4. Dynamic (Germany) 48.5/50


Dynamic is a ruthless machine who plays the game correctly mathematically. Full marks on ore maps, gem maps. I gave him only 9/10 on unlimited ore because at least when I was actively playing his p4 game wasn't quite top tier. That might have changed in the last 18 months but at least in my experience in 2v2 he wasn't quite the complete finished article like he was in 1v1 where he wins 95% of his games and is a true monster. Still obviously a phenomenal player and there's no shame in being 4th 2v2 when you consider who the remaining 3 are. Again this is based on my own personal perspective and I do think this is about right. 


3. Faust (Germany) 48.5/50


It was very tough to separate Dynamic and Faust. Dynamic is maybe just that tiny bit better mechanically, but Faust has better teamwork - in fact I gave Faust 10/10 for teamwork and Dynamic only 9/10. Part of this is down to Faust's phenomenal performances in tournaments during 2020-2021 where he showed beyond any doubt that he was the king of 2v2 at that time. Again, he has the ruthless precision and win at all costs mentality that just separates him from Bea5ty in 2v2. The recent series i witnessed between San/Faust Vs Bea5t/Dynamic was also informative and showed just how strong Faust is in a teamgame situation where he is one of the toughest opponents you could face. He always tries his best and plays to his partner's strengths better than anyone. 


2. Ford aka Gganbu? (Canada) 49/50


It's not official but I am 99% certain these are the same player based on pattern recognition and playstyle. In reality you could throw a blanket over 3-5 as they are all interchangeable. Ford aka Gganbu separates himself from 3-5 and is slightly better because he basically has no weaknesses. He also has a genius and profound exact scientific understanding of the game. If Gganbu is trying his best he is a phenomenal player. I saw a close BO11 series between Gganbu/Jacob against Beast and Dynamic and Gganbu took Jacob to game 11 (5-6). No disrespect to Jacob who is an amazing player but i don't think he is making it to 9 games (3-6) with either of the other 2 players as his partner. I took away minor points on P4 for not quite A+ soviet stamina, that's the only small criticism.  Ford/Gganbu is almost the complete and perfect player but he's just not quite the  dominant legend of number 1...


1. Ehy (Finland) 49.5/50


Well this was always going to be obvious wasn't it ? I get the argument that the game may have modernised and play level may have improved in the 10 years since Ehy retired. However, you can only "beat what's in front of you". I am very confident Ehy would have adapted to the modern era. At the time of Ehy's peak he was universally considered the strongest player by far and it wasn't even a debate. Nowadays there's 2-3 names in contention for example. If Ehy tried seriously he won, pretty simple. The level of his domination over his peers was unprecedented so much so that he retired out of boredom after even games against the formidable NastyNate (clear 2nd at the time) became not challenging enough for him. The only 0.5 I took away from Ehy was teamwork as it did annoy me sometimes when he would make unserious plays when he was on my team. That's the only small blip on his otherwise perfect score. It's all relative and when you consider games between the other top 5 could all be pretty even, I am supremely confident that were a prime Ehy still around today, he would still be the clear best 2v2 player.


Hope you enjoyed the series


Thanks for reading. 


Wise Master CrushyBoo.