Crush's gossip corner

 Look I am a busy man but the fans keep asking for a blog so I'll throw you all some breadcrumbs and keep you hooked and hanging on my every word like Pavlov's dogs. So here are some flash news updates which Mr Anonymous has crammed into my inbox.

NATE AND MAUD DIB ARE BACK TOGETHER! ❤️ You can take the dog out of Romania but ya can't take the nasty out of the dog 🐶. Hope their tier2 love affair lasts and stands the test of time.

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE 2xBACK2BACK REIGNING BUTLER OF THE YEAR, AD, FOR WINNING A BEST OF SERIES ON THE 49TH ATTEMPT. This goes to show that sometimes even the ugly bird catches the worm!

DIAZ STILL ON THE SHROOMS AND THE BEAR STILL ON THE NAUGHTY STEP. No updates here.

GAME OF THE YEAR CANDIDATE! Fair play to Lauta who completely outclassed formidable opponent in Dynamic in the below video. Very impressive win as Dolche and Nate were about even but Lauta outbuilt Dynamic to everyone's surprise. I'm sure even Lauta woulda agreed that he wouldn't have ever been able to do that to Ehy on P4. Just shows there's levels to the game and bigd still got a long way to go if he wants to be considered legend status like the Finnish Federer.

Well played! (Lautatube)

Like I say The Boo is a busy man so updates may not be as regular for the time being. Fingers in many pies at the moment.

WOO! Crush Flair!

Fan request: Player comparisons

 It's been well noted by one avid reader and fan of the Blog that I have historically played 100s if not 1000s of games against some of the game's most regular players. Therefore I am in a unique position to offer an opinion on their respective abilities. I have been provided with players who are considered same tier level and I've to give an unbiased opinion on who is superior between the two. If you enjoy this then feel free to submit requests for future comparisons. Please note I will not be comparing 5 star tier players because at the moment I only consider there to be 3 meeting that criteria and the ranking order is already very established and obvious already (1. Gganbu 2. Dynamic 3. Bea5ty). I will do 1 each of 4 star, 3 star and 2 star tiers

4 star: H3zb Vs NastyNate

H3zb is better than Nate. Nate is a very strong early game rusher and tanker player but he lacks stamina and long game skills. Overall H3zb is more of an all round player and more reliable. Most pros would agree in a 2v2 scenario you would rather have H3zb as your partner on most maps. I don't think this is particularly close. Basically H3zb has more all around skill than Nate even if Nate is marginally better on tanking. Nate's building skills are nowhere near H3zb which separates the two.

3 star: Yuzgen Vs Robskate

I have played these two loads and I can say with absolute confidence that Yuz is a better player than Rob. It's pretty simple really: Yuz is more of a threat and smarter than Rob on a bigger range of maps. Rob only really plays the same way on every map and doesn't adapt (small tanks Q or GQ battle). Yuz plays with more trickery and he has far superior building skills, teamplay and game awareness than Rob. The main difference between the two: Yuz is capable of scoring wins against Rob on Rob's low money maps but Rob has zero chance against Yuz on a big gem map such as V3. Yuz overall has more range of skill and I do find games with him to be more of an intellectual challenge than Rob base trade games. Sorry if you disagree but in my honest opinion, Yuzgen is definitely a better all around player than Robskate.

2 star: Oldpro Vs Ad

This is a difficult one as they are both very deficient in different aspects of the game. Ad is a 7/10 tanker but a 2/10 builder and Oldpro is the mirror reverse opposite. I would give the edge slightly to oldpro since I think he has a bit more utility. By utility I mean, at least oldpro is capable of the odd light tank rush or mig tactic whereas I think Ad's building skills are non existent. Literally I think Tocaia and Teskilapaf are better builders than Ad and I'm genuinely not trolling when I say that. Ad is a semi competent tanker but he really needs to work on rushing and building and playing with naders etc. Oldpro can be pretty good with naders. Basically it comes down to, if I were playing 2v2 who would I rather have on my team to maximise chances of winning, and the answer is fairly obviously Oldpro. I think most pros would agree and give the nod slightly to Oldpro over Ad.

Thanks for reading.

BarbieBoo

Breaking news! The fight is off!

 Mr Anonymous has reliably informed me that Butler "Stagefright" Ad has had to pull out of this weekend's blockbuster showdown against the Strip Club Bouncer and Rugby Rascal due to injury.

What a shame.

He sustained a pinky injury while attempting to build partnering the best player in the world (Gganbu).

Video courtesy of ORA-Rick^

As you can see, Butlerad was mercilessly pumped by Rick and Chuki, and so is in no shape to be facing the Cuzzies this weekend. He's done the hourable thing and had the humility to pull out of the match.

Ad intends to have some practice bouts back down at tier 4 level once his pinky successfully heals.

In the meantime, we are looking for someone else to step in and take up Ad's position this weekend.

Regards,

Ground control to Major Crush.

Enough!

 Right I am not a happy bunny. Mr Anonymous has had to call me down from headquarters to intervene in the current situation.

The situation? Ad has set up a 2v2 for the weekend partnering Blitz against Kickn and Hezb.

Well I am here to officially get the towel in to prevent a serious injury. This is not a fair match up and should not go ahead. There is absolutely zero prospect of the 2 1-dimensional tankers Snakeblitz and Butlerad walking away with a win so stop the match before it happens. Referee don't ring the bell! Such a match will result in life changing injuries for the back to back 2x butler of the year.

Literally 1 Tesla at gate and cuzzies win virtually every map. Stop this BS and find a better solution and fairer match up. Can Ad stick to division 3 games with Dutchy, Yuz and Maud please.

I'm officially doing Ad a favour and stopping this match before it happens so he doesn't need to find an excuse this time. Maybe KOBA and Teski can replace cuzzies so we get a fair game?

Also Mr Anonymous has let me know that Nate and Maud have officially split up. They're hoping their separate ways after a lovers' tiff. Does any clan have room for a camp Romanian dancing bodybuilder?

Mr Anonymous tells me bigD is now nowhere to be seen after his little alarming Twitch outburst. Maybe he has heard Gganbu is back online and doesn't want to be humbled yet again ? Must hurt being constantly reminded you are 2nd best. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Thanks for reading.

Not a happy bunny! 🐰 Chief Crush 

I would add some new icons to CnCNet Lobby.

We all know about Gold Medal 🏅 icon. It's out of date. I propose adding a new series of icons which better define a player and make them easier to identify.

Firstly, the shit icon 💩 I would give to:

Blitz - A snake who likes to shit stir between players (eg me and beast) and is proven to be very two-faced.

Fighter - A disloyal lagger who thinks it's ok to screenshot my private conversations and send them to known rats like Butcher

Robskate - The shittest admin of all time as well as the shittest pro p4 player 2v2 all time. Absolutely useless as an admin he was. Rob used his admin powers about as often as Lordy uses his salad bowl.

Cap - A weirdo who makes pals with unsavoury individuals then laughs at my expense while trying to be pals. 

Ad - A shitty C tier player and butler who think he is good and who literally shits the bed and doesn't turn up when he's set up a match.

Nate - The biggest pussy and dodger in history of RA. No balls whatsoever.

Dynamic - An arrogant, jealous and delusional moron who can't accept his place as 2nd best and so starts an unfair smear campaign against the universally proven better player, Gganbu. 

San - A semi nub who can't defend a 5 tank rush. 

_________________

I would award the 😂 icon to the following,

Bart - a fucking legend and underappreciated God of the modern game.

Rushy - Greatness personified

Leigh - 😂 haggis junkie

Oldpro - for being so delusional it's funny

_________________________________

Star icon ⭐ I would award to:

N8Diaz - For taking out the trash and doing a stellar job of growing the game and making it player friendly in the face of trolls and haters. Yoyo well done bro.

Yuz - Nastykiller himself. Single handedly ruined Nate and Maud's 10 year romance. Subscribe to Yuz on Onlyfans for exclusive mammies and Nastykiller content. He gives free previews on his Twitch daily but I recommend you buy an Onlyfans package if you want to get the full experience. 

Kickn - An entrepreneur who has shown great savvy in suggesting ideas such as Dildocoin and Harmonicacoin.

Get it set up Diaz. If you need icons for other players feel free to give me a shout and I'll cast my verdict free of charge.

Thanks for reading

Coinmaster Crushy, the Keeper of the Keys

Mr Anonymous Updates

 Mr Anonymous has reappeared in my inbox today. What a pleasant surprise! I'm afraid I've been out of the loop recently. The Boo is a busy man, fingers in many pies. Anyway here's what my dear and close friend Mr Anonymous had to say:

"Crush av been on the phone to ehy and at0m1 to ask them what they think of bigd's play. They both saying he still has a long way to go and ashamed of him that yuz still beats him so often. They saying they know who gganbu is as he played in their era 10 year ago and he wasn't fit to lace ehy's big Finnish moonboots. So if bigd gets pumped by gganbu then ehy woulda for sure ragdolled bigd. Bigd AV been told ya have to lay off the big German lagers and get back on the qmaster an platinum medals. Look no hard feelings we are all pals here. I am a lucky man to be able to talk to ehy on Facebook, are ya jealous? If ya be a good wee daschund sausage dog and get a win against yuz on hjk with Germany I might let ya ask ehy 1 question. I know how much ya admire him after all.

Also can the C-tier player known as butlerad please stop challenging B-tier players like robskate to matches. Ad ya were 0/24 in best ofs in 2023, stick to your own playerpool and challenge dutchy and petersky before ya start slamming ya dick on the table and challenging the B-tiers. Am not impressed one bit."

Thanks to Mr Anonymous once again for being the eyes and ears on the inside. 

Moby-Boo the great white whale🐳

Hate won't win! #Honk4Diaz

It has to come to my attention that our dear beloved chief admin N8Diaz is getting lots of unnecessary hate at the moment. I don't like it one bit.

You noobs and haters need to realise that Diaz works voluntarily for free. He strives to bring greatness to the game. It's not fair the abuse he encounters on a regular basis. First there was Lordy who was threatening to assault him in real life. I can now reveal via exclusive screenshots provided by Mr Anonymous that Dynamic has now jumped on the bandwagon and thinks it's appropriate to make real life physical threats towards our favourite CnCNet Admin. [See photo]

This can't be accepted or tolerated anymore. I don't care if Dynamic is widely regarded as the 2nd best RA player in the world or not. Your level of play does not give you license to harass an innocent admin. I call on all RA players to see that Dynamic deserves similar treatment to Lordy. Rules are rules and this sort of threatening behaviour cannot be tolerated. I am all for a bit of banter and trolling but this is a step too far. We expect to see an appropriate punishment in order to send a message that this sort of behaviour shall not be tolerated anymore.

I would like to create an exclusive hashtag in support of Diaz. Admin lives matter. #Honk4Diaz.

We love you Diaz Bro. These haters won't win.

And PS, don't be scared anyway, Lordy and Dynamic in the same boat is about 800lbs, 100% guaranteed to sink. So you have nothing to worry about anyway bro 👍

MacCrushy