There's been lots of action in the 3rd division of Red Alert this past week. The reigning and defending Butler of the Year (BOTY2022), Ad stepped up and challenged the recently unbanned ogre, Lordy, to a series of "Fight Night" matches. Ad finally had the courage after he won a couple path beyond ladder games in the last year against Yuz to step into the ring. The result? He got absolutely pumped. Make no mistake about it: this was an absolute fisting. The beating Lordy gave Ad in these games was so bad that we have no choice but to demote Ad to Division 4. Darko and Dutchy are lining up and reckon they can take Ad now, so hopefully I will be able to bring you a report on the Divison 4 title next week.
Lordy was so high in light of his results against Ad that he challenged the Turkish Rambo to a series of games. Yuzgen duly obliged in pumping Lordy and ensuring he too remains at Division 3.
Speaking of Yuzgen? Does anyone have some ointment left for his arse hole? It must be sore after Dynamic 75-0d him to take the Ladder title in September. Unfortunately, this has now given Dynamic an ego boost and he is going about saying the game is too easy and he's manhandled everyone. I'd like to just remind him that he is not the top banana around here. The last time he faced the number 1 player in the world, Gganbu, the elusive Canadian showed him what a real manhandling is. In case anyone's forgotten, this is the last series of matches between Dynamic and Gganbu:
Look I don't like to rock the boat. You know me, I only like to relay the facts and give accurate journalism. All I can do is say what I see. And what I see is that Gganbu pumped Dynamic in their last encounter and he doesn't feel Dyna has improved enough or has shown enough humility to merit a rematch. Therefore, enjoy being number 2, BigD 😂.
On a positive note for BigD, there's no shame in being 2nd best. Especially since it has now made you the prized jewel in NastyNate's collection. My anonymous insider (Mr Anonymous) informs me that Muad Dib is now a jealous little shit now that you've taken his spot. Maud's been kicked out the bed and is no longer wanted. He's like a little lost lamb. I hope you feel good about yourself knowing you ruined a 10 year happy relationship ya big German sausage.
Mr Anonymous also asks why Dynamic and Ad are sitting all day commenting on Yuz's twitch stream when they're supposed to be away a family holiday???
Thanks for reading! Hasta la vista,
Crushybaby