BUTLER OF THE YEAR 2024

 Well with 2 days to go before we crown Player of the Year, we thought it would increase the hype if we give the Butler of the Year Award its own post, such is its historic prestige and significance. This award is on a par with POTY in the bowels of RA history and can be seen as the Champions League to POTY's Premier League. This year is particularly absorbing as the reigning and defending 2-time back to back champion, Ad, is going for a historic 3-peat! So read on to find out if he has secured this monumental achievement or if someone else has sucked and rimmed better than Ad this year.

First up, a reminder of previous winners πŸ† 

2021 Budwouter (butlering for Dynamic)

2022 Ad (butlering for OP)

2023 Ad (freelance butlering most of lobby)

At the halfway stage of this year, many thought that Ad securing the 3-peat was a certain lock. However, the panel agreed that Ad became perhaps a tad too complacent throughout the 2nd half of the year. If there was an award for ass-sniffer of the year then Ad would have won that hands down for his flamboyant purveying of Diaz's posterior, but unfortunately ASOTY is not on offer at this present time.

Therefore, bombshell moment, the 3-peat hasn't happened!!!

Ladies and gentleman, we have a new Butler of the Year for 2024! Stand up and applaud your new BOTY, Toshy!!! Congratulations!

Toshy exhibited the traits of what we think constitutes an elite butler during the voting period. Toshy hopped from clan to clan ( or c*CK to c*CK ? ) at least 5 or 6 times this year to the point we have lost track of his current clan. Toshy was also an expert at fellating the megapros in lobby whenever they would login. Such eager butlering has not been seen since the days of the legendary Budw. Ad will need to significantly up his game in 2025 if he wishes to regain his title as it is clear that positioning himself as Diaz's weed carrier will not be enough.

Be sure to congratulate TOSHY on this phenomenal achievement! 

And remember, get ready and get hyped as we find out who has been victorious between the Shroomhead and the Bear for POTY in a few days time! May the best man/they/them win!



Thanks for reading, happy Christmas to all πŸŽ„ Hope Santa gets you cying lessons with OldPr0

Rudolphyboo



RED ALERT AWARDS 2024 !!!! PART 1 !

 We are excited to announce that unanimous results have been decided for all but 1 of this year's awards, therefore we are free to announce the winners of all the secondary awards at this juncture. The most important award, PLAYER OF THE YEAR is still open for voting and I shall be including a poll to decide on this year's winner. 2 candidates this year, polar opposite, have stood out above everyone else for POTY. The voting panel agrees that POTY should be given to the player who has made the biggest impact and contribution to the game over the previous 12 months, and not necessarily the strongest player. Therefore players such as Gganbu and Dynamic are not in the running for this award as there's not been much notable competitive action this year - instead, we feel that there are 2 standout candidates and I am sure most will agree. These are of course, N8Diaz and Lordy. The poll will decide once and for all who is the most popular of the 2 and who takes home the prize of POTY2024. This race will no doubt be even more consequential than Trump vs Kamala. Additionally, we will save the other most important award, Butler of the Year, for part 2 so stay tuned!

Anyway, without much further ado, it's time to decide who has taken home the rest of the prestigious awards:

Most Improved Player 2024

A year ago, Fighter would only beat Ad 6-4 or 7-3 in a 10 game series. However, nowadays, he absolutely pumps him and it would be 10-0 head to head. There's no point in Fighter vs Ad anymore because Fighter has proven he is a tier above his fellow countryman and would absolutely smash him in a Best Of series nowadays.

Additionally, Fighter was able to win the padawan ladder by easily beating players such as robskate while all the big pros were away from keyboard and so proved he is much better than those guys now.

Therefore, Fighter is the clear winner of the MIP2024 Award. 

Rookie of the Year 2024

Bart reliably informs me that there's a unanimous winner of this award. The player known by many names but notably [soul]cycle or Recyclebin most often takes this prize. I've not crossed paths with this player myself because I've not been active for the last year but I am assured this player is yet another talented Australian on the CnCNet ranks. I look forward to observing his/her progress, but please, for fuck sake, choose ONE name and stick to it! I know that's hypocritical since I'm known as RedCarpet, MrBoo and others instead of Crushy but I've earned that status due to being an absolute legend of the game, much like The Undertaker (The Deadman, The American Badass) of WWE fame. Newer players should choose one name and stick to it to make them easily identifiable to the seasoned veterans until they earn their stripes in the pr0 ranks.

Streamer of the Year 2024

This of course goes to San for keeping the plebs entertained with some pro action. Find his channel here. LINK TO SAN TWITCH

Lifetime Achievement Award 2024

The panel decided that there's one individual who is extremely deserving of this award. We have decided to soften the blow of his 30-day ban for racist outbursts, by awarding the enigmatic OldPr0 (aka [420]Ryan) with the Lifetime Achievement Award.

OldPr0 has become an integral part of Red Alert popular culture over the past 10 years through his contribution of 12 hours per day losing at 2v2. People will regularly say to each other "stop being an oldpr0" or "ok oldpr0" when anyone makes excuses after a loss. The association of bitching after a loss and the name oldpr0 have become one and the same, completely synonymous at this point, and this is why we love him.

So not only does OldPr0 spend most of the day getting paid by the Canadian social security system to sit and get pumped by KOBA and UFF-Magno on P4 2v2, but he's also a legendary lobby general chat stalwart in his own right.

We should also mention the anomaly which comes with OldPr0. Despite his limited success in competitive play, OldPr0 has the distinction of being Kickn's bogey player. For some reason, Kickn seems to have a mental block when he plays against OldPr0 and usually gets pumped. Maybe this is because they have similar playstyles and OldPr0 is just a much stronger player than Kickn on 10 cy, but whatever it is, Kickn always seems to get pumped by OldPr0 when they're on opposite teams on 2v2.

Congratulations on your award OldPr0 and we look forward to hearing about how a pig flew past the window and that's why you lost your next game once your ban is uplifted! 

RA would not be the same without this character and he deserves his legacy to be cemented in the annals of Red Alert history with this award.

POLL FOR POTY2024 BELOW and a reminder that BUTLER of the year will follow in part 2 as well!   DON'T READ THE FAKE NEWS, STICK TO BLOG OF BOO.





RED ALERT 1 PLAYER OF THE YEAR 2024

RED ALERT 1 PLAYER OF THE YEAR 2024

Vote for your RA President!

Voting closes on 19th December 2024 at 23:59 London time.

*BREAKING NEWS* Lordy release date confirmed.

Lordy returns to Red Alert on CnCNet

It's official. Mr Anonymous has informed me that he was able to broker a deal with higher admins, and Lordy will finally be released after 1 more month provided he has good behaviour. The Bear will be returning to Red Alert 1 on CnCNet to get pumped again by OldPr0 on 2v2 on December 28th 2024. 


To celebrate I have included a countdown clock in this post.

I have contacted Yuzgen and informed him of this news. He says he too will come out of retirement to pump Lordy's hairy dangleberry hole one last time on the release date.

Thank you to the negotiators in bringing us this Christmas gift.

Crushilicious


VOTING OPEN FOR END OF YEAR AWARDS + BONUS NEWS

Voting is now open for RA End of Year Awards. A reminder of the awards being covered. 

Rookie of the Year
Most Improved Player
Lifetime Achievement Award
Streamer of the Year
Player of the Year
BUTLER OF THE YEAR

Get your votes into the Chief Golden Milo Jockstrap Sniffer aka Bart who is acting as head curator in my absence. I am afraid I have been too much of a scavenging crow this year and so my insight isn't as valuable as our dear Four Letter Word. Bart will be sharing the results with me around December 20th in time for your Christmas stockings.

In other news, I stumbled across evidence that Milo is alive and well whilst out on my travels.



Additionally, I can confirm that I have communicated with our favourite Turkish Rambo, Yuzgen. He said he has retired from the game because the competition absolutely sucks and too many nubs. Yuzgen will be remembered very fondly for his 22 hour streams and 5 years of sacrificing pussy in order to teach a generation of padawans the dark arts of HJK6.

Finally, drunken cowboy robskate is back 🀠




Hopefully Santa Diaz will fill up everyone's Christmas stockings and release the Bear back into the woods.

God bless you all,

Saint Crushy


RED ALERT NEWS OCTOBER 6TH 2024

 Unfortunately I've been a busy bee lately 🐝 so that's why I've been quiet as a mouse on the blogging front 🐁. Fortunately for you guys, my good friend Mr Anonymous has been flooding my inbox with some news of what's going on in the Red Alert trenches. So let's get down to business and report on some of the current hottest topics.


BEAR AND DIAZ HOOKUP πŸ‘¨‍❤️‍πŸ‘¨πŸ³️‍πŸŒˆπŸ‘¨‍❤️‍πŸ’‹‍πŸ‘¨

Well this storyline certainly took an unexpected twist. Lordy tried an old tactic of trying to seduce his man to get what he wants. Yes, that's right, Lordy tried to get Diaz into the bedroom in order to be able to play again, by going undercover and calling himself BAT-VIKING.

 The romance seemed to be blossoming extremely well when unfortunately someone pulled the plug and the Bear's disguise slipped. Unfortunately Diaz couldn't accept that he likes men too so was in denial about the situation and decided to ban Lordy again instead of keeping the love affair going. At this current moment Diaz is still playing hard to get and wants the Bear to work hard for his love πŸ’• in order to be reinstated as the BAT clan enforcer. I think the rest of the community would love to see this relationship grow and hopefully the Christmas special is the bear being allowed back online to win his man and play some games 🎁. Lordy even posted a love letter πŸ’Œ to Diaz on the CnCNet discord servers and poured his heart out. Hopefully there's a happy ending to this story!

AD

Alot of Mr Anonymous' notes centred on the man who goes boxing twice a day πŸ₯Š. I've told Mr Anonymous that I am going to go easy on everyone's favourite butler due to the obvious sad external factors. Mr Anonymous has demanded that I ask if anyone would like to donate a pair of boots so our boy can become a man πŸ₯Ύ. 

ROBIN GETS HIS BATMAN

Christmas came early for the 2nd best player in the world, Dynamic, as the undisputed world champion Gganbu has reappeared online. As expected Dynamic jumped online faster than Maud Dib catches a bone 🦴 when he got a sniff of Gganbu's musky armpits. Everyone has been in awe of Gganbu's play since his return and it's clear he is still miles better than everyone else and the best player in the world. It seems bigD is forever destined to be the bridesmaid and never the bride πŸ‘°.

LEEDS ARE SHIT

I thought I'd end this blog by giving everyone a good laugh. Look at how utter crap Kobra's football team are. Even worse than Oldpro is at tanking:


Thanks for reading, 

MAMBO NUMBA CRUSH πŸ₯° 

RA NEWS 15TH JULY 2024

 


The main news this week is that England got absolutely pumped by Spain in the Euro 2024 final. It was men Vs boys. England finally ran out of luck after miraculously scraping past Slovakia and Switzerland. They were lucky it was not about 6-1 and Spain were the much better team and fisted them. A shame because this was the best chance England will have to win a trophy - they won't ever get such an easy draw again and will be able to reach the Quarter finals at best in future tournaments. So feel free to join the rest of Scotland in having a "haahahhahahhaahahhahahahaπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†" One particular salty and delusoonal RA player didn't take it too well:



There is no prize for 2nd best and being the bridesmaid mate, you are beginning to sound like Dynamic haha.


Speaking of Dynamic, word on the street is he is back! Yes indeed,  the 2nd best player in the world after Gganbu has returned to Red Alert 1 after not being able to compete in RA2. Heard a rumour he got absolutely pumped by Yuzgen on HJK yet again. Yuz has been merciful as he was going to upload the game to YouTube with title "cocky padawan comes back for another hjk6 lesson from his Turkish Sensei AKA 18 pints not enough".

In other news, Ad has said he has had a life threatening injury and that's why he is not able to compete with Fighter with Oldpro at the moment. He said he had to be rushed to hospital and that this is the reason he was getting pumped every game and has been avoiding ladder and spectating all 2v2s. See proof of Ad's serious injury below, no wonder he needed an ambulance:




Thanks for reading folks,

Crushy Yamal! Viva Espana

Ad explains why been getting pumped by the Tier 3s





I can now also officially reveal that Ad has been a naughty boy and attempting to extort certain RA players. He's been wanting paid £1000 and for people let him win some games. Fortunately chief admin N8Diaz has stepped in and disciplined our favourite Butler. He's warned Ad to get back in his box or he will suffer the same fate as The Bear. Diaz is a good daddy and is disciplining the kids.

So Ad, lay off the glue and behave.


Ad should read the blog's advice and lay off the boxing and get back on the qmaster. Needs to stop getting pumped off oldpro on 2v2 and fighter on 1v1. Needs to stop trying to beef with players 2 tiers higher.


Uncle Crushy.


Pride comes before a fall

It's no secret that the pro scene of Red Alert 1 is really struggling at the moment. Most of the Tier 1 and Tier 2 players are taking a break from the game during the summer months. What's left is a bunch of tier 3 and tier 4 players duking it out for the cruiserweight title.

I've heard reports that even the reigning back-to-back 2* BUTLER OF THE YEAR, Ad, fancies himself as a bit of an alpha now that the Big Dawgs are not around.

Unfortunately Ad is still getting exposed as being Tier 4 and is not even the best player in his own town.




Ad gets pumped by Fighter after giving it the big un. Proof Ad is not even Lebanon top 5. Ad has become known as Fighter's spunk bucket nowadays because Fighter always fists him in 1v1. 


The lesson here is to not get too big for your boots. Ad is still getting humbled by the likes of Fighter, Oldpro and Bart. Oldpro has won 14 games straight against Ad on 2v2 at time of writing. 

Ad has claimed that the reason for his losses is that he's tired after spending all morning in the gym. I think someone is telling wee porky pies to be honest and I don't believe him. Do you? I think Ad has only ever visited the gym to use the toilet.


Stay humble and keep training folks.

Speak with actions not words.

Listen to At0m1's words and have pr0 attitude xD


Crushy fucking Tzu








Crush's gossip corner June 2024

 Good news for you all. Mr Anonymous slid into my DM's this morning with some delightful insights into the current state of Red Alert 1 on CnCNet. Here's some brief news flash highlights:


BEAR STILL CAGED!

No change here and no word on when DaddyDiaz plans to release the bear back into the wild. The Bear is spending its free time learning how to play the Cello with an old pal via discord.


DYNAMIC RETIRED?

People are not sure on the exact reason since BigD announced he's now an RA2 player. The word on the street is he got frustrated at constantly losing to Lauta on P4 and gave up, but others say it's because he was annoyed at Gganbu not being around and so he wasn't able to improve on his "2nd best' tag.


AD MISSES OUT ON TEAM LEBANON

Fighter won the Tier3 May 2024 Ladder and pumped Ad in the process. This proved to everyone that Ad is Tier4 and he is below RedAlert1, Fighter and Oldie in the Lebanese rankings. This hasn't deterred our favourite Butler though as he's been seen everyday in lobby swinging his dick around and challenging the likes of KOBA, Dutchy and Toshy to 1v1 Best of Series. I guess a leopard never changes its spots.


That's all for now folks.


Stay tuned. 


CRUSHY 4EVA


Player Legacies

 Now that it's very clear that Red Alert 1 is in terminal decline after 30 years, it's time to think about how players will be best remembered for their contributions. Thankfully, here at Blog of Boo I am the universal established authority on this issue so I will make it easy and give the facts straight up without any ambiguity. For example I will be remembered as the strongest British RA player who ever lived and a supreme map maker and greatest journalist in the history of the game. This Blog will live on long after we are all gone. So less about me, what about some others ?


Oldpr0 - Will be remembered as the Canadian guy with clear mental health issues who everyone secretly had a soft spot for, even if we all groaned to ourselves when a 2v2 game launched and realised he was our partner.

Lordy - The Bear behaved like an Ogre until he was tamed by Diaz. His legacy will now be known as Diaz's bitch. Yes it's true, Diaz tamed The Bear.

Yuzgen - stamina of a wild mountain ox and the Turkish street fighting guile. But also a sad cunt who spent 2 decades of his life playing Ra, mostly the hjk getting pumped by his sensei, for 14 hours per day.

Robskate - a one-dimensional bore who thinks he's good because he can Q with 8 tanks on small maps but who actually never really developed into a proper all around Red Alert player and who most pros see as a free win when they face him on 2v2.

NastyNate - the biggest pussy in history of Red Alert. Unfulfilled potential. Most people's memory of Nate will be of tragedy and regret. Sad he never got over his insecurities and got in the ring.

Dynamic - an angry German guy who was super jealous of Gganbu being better than him. Will be remembered as being the 2nd best player during the mid 2020s, the death arc era of the game.

Leigh - a funny Scottish troll who loved a bit of the gq and an ore map.

Jacob - a super autistic kid who was a bit naive and inconsistent. Talent for all to see but not really harnessed.

Ad - a prolific butler who liked to try to suck off all the stronger players in the hope they would validate him by carrying him in 2v2s.

Kickn - a strip club bouncer who liked to spunk all his cash on dilfcoin and p4coin and who loved a 10 cy or a V2.

Beast - a nice kid with clear and obvious bipolar disorder who really just needs a hug.


Loads of nonces and circus clowns as well who I'm not going to credit by naming individually. 


Thanks for reading!


Bored Boo πŸ˜‚






Crush's gossip corner

 Look I am a busy man but the fans keep asking for a blog so I'll throw you all some breadcrumbs and keep you hooked and hanging on my every word like Pavlov's dogs. So here are some flash news updates which Mr Anonymous has crammed into my inbox.


NATE AND MAUD DIB ARE BACK TOGETHER! ❤️ You can take the dog out of Romania but ya can't take the nasty out of the dog 🐢. Hope their tier2 love affair lasts and stands the test of time.


CONGRATULATIONS TO THE 2xBACK2BACK REIGNING BUTLER OF THE YEAR, AD, FOR WINNING A BEST OF SERIES ON THE 49TH ATTEMPT. This goes to show that sometimes even the ugly bird catches the worm!


DIAZ STILL ON THE SHROOMS AND THE BEAR STILL ON THE NAUGHTY STEP. No updates here.


GAME OF THE YEAR CANDIDATE! Fair play to Lauta who completely outclassed formidable opponent in Dynamic in the below video. Very impressive win as Dolche and Nate were about even but Lauta outbuilt Dynamic to everyone's surprise. I'm sure even Lauta woulda agreed that he wouldn't have ever been able to do that to Ehy on P4. Just shows there's levels to the game and bigd still got a long way to go if he wants to be considered legend status like the Finnish Federer.



Well played! (Lautatube)


Like I say The Boo is a busy man so updates may not be as regular for the time being. Fingers in many pies at the moment.


WOO! Crush Flair!

Fan request: Player comparisons

 It's been well noted by one avid reader and fan of the Blog that I have historically played 100s if not 1000s of games against some of the game's most regular players. Therefore I am in a unique position to offer an opinion on their respective abilities. I have been provided with players who are considered same tier level and I've to give an unbiased opinion on who is superior between the two. If you enjoy this then feel free to submit requests for future comparisons. Please note I will not be comparing 5 star tier players because at the moment I only consider there to be 3 meeting that criteria and the ranking order is already very established and obvious already (1. Gganbu 2. Dynamic 3. Bea5ty). I will do 1 each of 4 star, 3 star and 2 star tiers


4 star: H3zb Vs NastyNate

H3zb is better than Nate. Nate is a very strong early game rusher and tanker player but he lacks stamina and long game skills. Overall H3zb is more of an all round player and more reliable. Most pros would agree in a 2v2 scenario you would rather have H3zb as your partner on most maps. I don't think this is particularly close. Basically H3zb has more all around skill than Nate even if Nate is marginally better on tanking. Nate's building skills are nowhere near H3zb which separates the two.


3 star: Yuzgen Vs Robskate

I have played these two loads and I can say with absolute confidence that Yuz is a better player than Rob. It's pretty simple really: Yuz is more of a threat and smarter than Rob on a bigger range of maps. Rob only really plays the same way on every map and doesn't adapt (small tanks Q or GQ battle). Yuz plays with more trickery and he has far superior building skills, teamplay and game awareness than Rob. The main difference between the two: Yuz is capable of scoring wins against Rob on Rob's low money maps but Rob has zero chance against Yuz on a big gem map such as V3. Yuz overall has more range of skill and I do find games with him to be more of an intellectual challenge than Rob base trade games. Sorry if you disagree but in my honest opinion, Yuzgen is definitely a better all around player than Robskate.


2 star: Oldpro Vs Ad

This is a difficult one as they are both very deficient in different aspects of the game. Ad is a 7/10 tanker but a 2/10 builder and Oldpro is the mirror reverse opposite. I would give the edge slightly to oldpro since I think he has a bit more utility. By utility I mean, at least oldpro is capable of the odd light tank rush or mig tactic whereas I think Ad's building skills are non existent. Literally I think Tocaia and Teskilapaf are better builders than Ad and I'm genuinely not trolling when I say that. Ad is a semi competent tanker but he really needs to work on rushing and building and playing with naders etc. Oldpro can be pretty good with naders. Basically it comes down to, if I were playing 2v2 who would I rather have on my team to maximise chances of winning, and the answer is fairly obviously Oldpro. I think most pros would agree and give the nod slightly to Oldpro over Ad.


Thanks for reading.

BarbieBoo

Breaking news! The fight is off!

 Mr Anonymous has reliably informed me that Butler "Stagefright" Ad has had to pull out of this weekend's blockbuster showdown against the Strip Club Bouncer and Rugby Rascal due to injury.

What a shame.

He sustained a pinky injury while attempting to build partnering the best player in the world (Gganbu).


Video courtesy of ORA-Rick^

As you can see, Butlerad was mercilessly pumped by Rick and Chuki, and so is in no shape to be facing the Cuzzies this weekend. He's done the hourable thing and had the humility to pull out of the match.


Ad intends to have some practice bouts back down at tier 4 level once his pinky successfully heals.


In the meantime, we are looking for someone else to step in and take up Ad's position this weekend.


Regards,


Ground control to Major Crush.

Enough!

 Right I am not a happy bunny. Mr Anonymous has had to call me down from headquarters to intervene in the current situation.


The situation? Ad has set up a 2v2 for the weekend partnering Blitz against Kickn and Hezb.


Well I am here to officially get the towel in to prevent a serious injury. This is not a fair match up and should not go ahead. There is absolutely zero prospect of the 2 1-dimensional tankers Snakeblitz and Butlerad walking away with a win so stop the match before it happens. Referee don't ring the bell! Such a match will result in life changing injuries for the back to back 2x butler of the year.


Literally 1 Tesla at gate and cuzzies win virtually every map. Stop this BS and find a better solution and fairer match up. Can Ad stick to division 3 games with Dutchy, Yuz and Maud please.


I'm officially doing Ad a favour and stopping this match before it happens so he doesn't need to find an excuse this time. Maybe KOBA and Teski can replace cuzzies so we get a fair game?



Also Mr Anonymous has let me know that Nate and Maud have officially split up. They're hoping their separate ways after a lovers' tiff. Does any clan have room for a camp Romanian dancing bodybuilder?


Mr Anonymous tells me bigD is now nowhere to be seen after his little alarming Twitch outburst. Maybe he has heard Gganbu is back online and doesn't want to be humbled yet again ? Must hurt being constantly reminded you are 2nd best. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.


Thanks for reading.


Not a happy bunny! 🐰 Chief Crush 





I would add some new icons to CnCNet Lobby.

We all know about Gold Medal πŸ… icon. It's out of date. I propose adding a new series of icons which better define a player and make them easier to identify.


Firstly, the shit icon πŸ’© I would give to:


Blitz - A snake who likes to shit stir between players (eg me and beast) and is proven to be very two-faced.

Fighter - A disloyal lagger who thinks it's ok to screenshot my private conversations and send them to known rats like Butcher

Robskate - The shittest admin of all time as well as the shittest pro p4 player 2v2 all time. Absolutely useless as an admin he was. Rob used his admin powers about as often as Lordy uses his salad bowl.

Cap - A weirdo who makes pals with unsavoury individuals then laughs at my expense while trying to be pals. 

Ad - A shitty C tier player and butler who think he is good and who literally shits the bed and doesn't turn up when he's set up a match.

Nate - The biggest pussy and dodger in history of RA. No balls whatsoever.

Dynamic - An arrogant, jealous and delusional moron who can't accept his place as 2nd best and so starts an unfair smear campaign against the universally proven better player, Gganbu. 

San - A semi nub who can't defend a 5 tank rush. 

_________________

I would award the πŸ˜‚ icon to the following,


Bart - a fucking legend and underappreciated God of the modern game.

Rushy - Greatness personified

Leigh - πŸ˜‚ haggis junkie

Oldpro - for being so delusional it's funny

_________________________________

Star icon ⭐ I would award to:


N8Diaz - For taking out the trash and doing a stellar job of growing the game and making it player friendly in the face of trolls and haters. Yoyo well done bro.

Yuz - Nastykiller himself. Single handedly ruined Nate and Maud's 10 year romance. Subscribe to Yuz on Onlyfans for exclusive mammies and Nastykiller content. He gives free previews on his Twitch daily but I recommend you buy an Onlyfans package if you want to get the full experience. 

Kickn - An entrepreneur who has shown great savvy in suggesting ideas such as Dildocoin and Harmonicacoin.



Get it set up Diaz. If you need icons for other players feel free to give me a shout and I'll cast my verdict free of charge.

Thanks for reading


Coinmaster Crushy, the Keeper of the Keys









Mr Anonymous Updates

 Mr Anonymous has reappeared in my inbox today. What a pleasant surprise! I'm afraid I've been out of the loop recently. The Boo is a busy man, fingers in many pies. Anyway here's what my dear and close friend Mr Anonymous had to say:

"Crush av been on the phone to ehy and at0m1 to ask them what they think of bigd's play. They both saying he still has a long way to go and ashamed of him that yuz still beats him so often. They saying they know who gganbu is as he played in their era 10 year ago and he wasn't fit to lace ehy's big Finnish moonboots. So if bigd gets pumped by gganbu then ehy woulda for sure ragdolled bigd. Bigd AV been told ya have to lay off the big German lagers and get back on the qmaster an platinum medals. Look no hard feelings we are all pals here. I am a lucky man to be able to talk to ehy on Facebook, are ya jealous? If ya be a good wee daschund sausage dog and get a win against yuz on hjk with Germany I might let ya ask ehy 1 question. I know how much ya admire him after all.

Also can the C-tier player known as butlerad please stop challenging B-tier players like robskate to matches. Ad ya were 0/24 in best ofs in 2023, stick to your own playerpool and challenge dutchy and petersky before ya start slamming ya dick on the table and challenging the B-tiers. Am not impressed one bit."


Thanks to Mr Anonymous once again for being the eyes and ears on the inside. 


Moby-Boo the great white whale🐳

Hate won't win! #Honk4Diaz

It has to come to my attention that our dear beloved chief admin N8Diaz is getting lots of unnecessary hate at the moment. I don't like it one bit.

You noobs and haters need to realise that Diaz works voluntarily for free. He strives to bring greatness to the game. It's not fair the abuse he encounters on a regular basis. First there was Lordy who was threatening to assault him in real life. I can now reveal via exclusive screenshots provided by Mr Anonymous that Dynamic has now jumped on the bandwagon and thinks it's appropriate to make real life physical threats towards our favourite CnCNet Admin. [See photo]




This can't be accepted or tolerated anymore. I don't care if Dynamic is widely regarded as the 2nd best RA player in the world or not. Your level of play does not give you license to harass an innocent admin. I call on all RA players to see that Dynamic deserves similar treatment to Lordy. Rules are rules and this sort of threatening behaviour cannot be tolerated. I am all for a bit of banter and trolling but this is a step too far. We expect to see an appropriate punishment in order to send a message that this sort of behaviour shall not be tolerated anymore.

I would like to create an exclusive hashtag in support of Diaz. Admin lives matter. #Honk4Diaz.

We love you Diaz Bro. These haters won't win.

And PS, don't be scared anyway, Lordy and Dynamic in the same boat is about 800lbs, 100% guaranteed to sink. So you have nothing to worry about anyway bro πŸ‘


MacCrushy