Player of the Year 2025 and Butler of the Year 2025

 2025. A year I played for a grand total of about 5 hours so way too rusty to form much of an opinion. Fortunately, however, the 2 main awards are very obvious so I won't keep you in suspense...


The award for Player of the Year 2025 goes to Pride aka San . Everyone's favourite Asian American Red Alert streamer dominated the competition this year and was the standout performer of the year. No controversy here and for once, no debate from any party. Even the £200k German crypto Porsche driver (Dynamic) is in agreement as to Pride's superiority. The best credit to San is that he does his talking on the battlefield and doesn't beef with anyone. Some may call it boring and autistic but a lack of personality coupled with robotic precision is refreshing in the red alert 1 scene. Congratulations San and I hope you extra enjoy your sweet and sour sauce tonight champ ! 🏆 


Butler of the Year is also obvious for 2025. Fighter's personal fleshlight aka Ad has regained his title. Another year spent dick hopping by Ad culminated in getting shagged senseless by Fighter in their recent 1v1 match. At this point, Fighter literally uses Ad as a training tool for his dick for when it comes to facing a proper opponent. Another year of Ad spent doing what he does best - trash talking then getting pumped - made this an easy award to issue. Congratulations Ad on becoming a 3* BUTLER OF THE YEAR (2022,2023,2025). Commiserations to last year's valiant winner, Toshy, who has been demoted to dishwasher. 


Congratulations to both winners and good luck for next year.


That's all folks,


Crushy O' Boo Boo