All I ask is that you go out of your way to recognise the award winners! Make sure you congratulate them and remind them of their achievements!!!!
To be completely honest - it's been a very shit year for Red Alert. Lots of random crappy tournaments (fight night) instead of decent organised events (like LCS). Sometimes questionable decisions and lack of competitiveness. Regardless, there's still been some standout performers this year so let's honour them and recognise their achievements:
This goes to Jacob! Congratulations! His game has gone backwards after a promising 2022. Highlights include losing 8-0 to Dynamic in 32 minutes, and getting pumped 4-0 by a rusty me on ladder. Jacob is definitely not as good as I thought he was going to be and it's rather disappointing. He's kind of like a top pick in the NFL draft who doesn't quite make it in the pro game! I wonder if he can turn it around in 2024! Perhaps leaving bart's coaching behind was a bad move for this former talent!
Mr Boo.
To be completely honest - it's been a very shit year for Red Alert. Lots of random crappy tournaments (fight night) instead of decent organised events (like LCS). Sometimes questionable decisions and lack of competitiveness. Regardless, there's still been some standout performers this year so let's honour them and recognise their achievements:
Clan Leader of the Year 2023
Congratulations to ORA-Lordy, the clear and obvious winner of this award. Phenomenal achievement to resurrect a dead clan after its old leader publically moved on to pastures new. Lordy turned ORA's fortunes around and put respect back on the name. It's very obvious that he was the best clan leader of 2023. Let's see what 2024 brings and hopefully we see an ORA vs TDS showdown in the not too distant future!
Freak of the Year 2023
Congratulations to Dutchy for regularly spamming the lobby with his paranoid delusions and his mental illness. A worthy winner of this award and be sure to congratulate him every time you see him in 2024 with "hello freak of the year!"
Lagger of the Year 2023
This goes to Butcher's personal spunk bucket, Fighter. Guaranteed to have a 53 FPS game when this guy is around! Congratulations!
Rookie of the Year 2023
Unfortunately, we must reveal that this award has NO WINNER for the calendar year 2023. This year has seen no new talent of note which is a very depressing trend for the future of Red Alert. No new players even managed to reach darkothedon level this year so we simply cannot award this. Hopefully 2024 sees some budding petersky or zizou calibre players!
Butler of the Year 2023
There was only one real contender for the award this year, the reigning and defending champion from 2022, Ad ! The Butler proved himself to be above everyone else as he was regularly in supply of towels for conceding when losing series 3-0. Ad whored himself around in 2023 from alpha to alpha looking for wins. In light of Ad winning the award for 2 consecutive years, I think he deserves the status and recognition of his old name (Ad) being permanently consigned to the dustbin of Red Alert history! From now on, simply refer to him as The Butler in honour of his achievements. Be sure to greet him with a "Hello Butler, how are you?" whenever you see him going forward! Congratulations!
Most Improved Player 2023
This goes to RedAlert1, he is not as shit as he was this time last year! He's gotten quite decent due to playing ladder and is now about Hank level whereas last year he was Tocaia level. Congratulations on your award!
Streamer of the Year 2023
Yuzgen. Duh. 15 Hour streams as an elderly Turkish man. This legend literally sacrifices his entire sex life for the good of Red Alert! He's literally got a rota system with the postman and the milkman to attend to the Mrs while he gets on the HJK6! Yuzgen deserves his name engraved on the Milo jockstrap and the At0m1 zippo in honour of his achievements at this point! A true legend and jizz puppet of the game!
Disappointment of the Year 2023
This goes to Jacob! Congratulations! His game has gone backwards after a promising 2022. Highlights include losing 8-0 to Dynamic in 32 minutes, and getting pumped 4-0 by a rusty me on ladder. Jacob is definitely not as good as I thought he was going to be and it's rather disappointing. He's kind of like a top pick in the NFL draft who doesn't quite make it in the pro game! I wonder if he can turn it around in 2024! Perhaps leaving bart's coaching behind was a bad move for this former talent!
Lifetime Achievement Award 2023
This goes to the Big Aussie Stripclub Bouncer, Kickn. He has been a dedicated part of the community for decades now and has become like Rayman level 3 for all new players. He's even been able to improve his game in the last couple of years after taking some coaching tips from OldPr0. Congratulations to Kickn who deserves his place in the Red Alert Hall of Fame!
Player of the Year 2023
Finally we get to the Big Daddy Award for 2023. This goes to Gganbu , he proved he is the undisputed best player in the world by demolishing formidable opponent and runner-up for this award, Dynamic, in their last series, by a scoreline of 15-4! He is also probably the best 2v2 player. This was a universal decision and all 5 players I asked voted for Gganbu. The clear unanimous winner! Congratulations!
Thanks for reading! Sorry if you are disheartened not to receive an award! Better luck next year!
Mr Boo.