RA1 IN CRISIS: WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE

Red Alert 1 is dead the now. No ladder games for 60+ days. No best ofs. Folk need to stop sniffing the glue and realise the game needs its big personalities. 

The game NEEDS the Turkish Rambo, Yuzgen.

The game NEEDS the bipolar disabled bear, Lordy.

The game NEEDS Dutchy and his toddler level English and his paranoia. 

The game thrives when players like this are around. Creates action and interest.

The alternative is what we have now. Loads of beginners and an occasional Liquid room.

Think it might be time for an amnesty. Bring back the players otherwise there might not be any games at all in the not too distant future. I intend to play during winter when the weather is garbage so make sure there's some actual players online.

Make RA Great Again. 

THE N.O.T.O.R.I.O.U.S   C.R.U.S.H.Y.B.O.O.B.O.O

PETITION: Important Changes Needed in Red Alert immediately. FFS.

 

​PETITION: Important Changes Needed in Red Alert immediately. FFS.

​Listen up, command commanders and absolute melt-downs. The Red Alert community is currently in a state of shambles, and it’s not because of the game balance—it’s because of the absolute clowns running around the lobby.

​We, the undersigned (and anyone with a functioning brain), demand the following non-negotiable updates to the community roster. Sign this or you're a soft lad.

​The Demands:

• ​1. Yuz: Cease the Emo Phase Yuz needs to stop acting like a hormonal teenager locked in his bedroom, drop the emo act, and get his arse online. The people are starving. The people need those Twitch streams. Most importantly, the people need the Turkish Rambo back on Red Alert. Get on or get out.
  
• ​2. Lordy & Dutchy: Return to the Mountains These two antisocial bastards have spent enough time hiding from society. This is a formal, legally binding eviction from your caves. Get back to the mountains where you belong. This is non-negotiable.
  
• ​3. Dynamic: A Mandatory Reality Check Dynamic needs to stop walking about like he’s the second coming of Christ, claiming he’s the "best 2v2 player ever." Let’s look at the facts: gganbu (aka Fondz) absolute pumps you mercilessly every single series. Literally no one thinks you’re the best. You have a losing head-to-head record against Lauta and Oldpro on p4 FFS. Sit down, be humble, and learn how to build a barracks.
  
• ​4. Nerf GQ (Because it's Proper Pish) The current state of GQ is an absolute joke. It’s a load of old pish. Back in the day, I used to be able to beat people clean with a bit of proper stacking. Now? I can’t even beat a bloody egg 🥚. Fix the game, it's breaking my mental health.
  
• ​5. Ford: End the Identity Crisis Ford, stop being an emo cunt. It is the worst-kept secret in the community. Just out yourself as gganbu already. We know it’s you, and frankly, we just miss you. Come home.

​How to Support the Petition

​Hurl some abuse at the players mentioned above or share the blog in your servers/ chat rooms

​THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION IN THIS MATTER

Crushy Slim Shady

[on behalf of ORA-BOY Lips LLP]

TROUBLE IN PARADISE

Well hello there my lovely readers. Happy Star Wars Day. May the 4th be with you.

It has struck me that Justin Bieber's recent headline performance at Coachella was a pop culture event. His fans are known as Beliebers. Since Blog of Boo is also a cultural phenomenon in its own right, I think it's fitting that fans of my world famous journalism should also have their own group name. From this moment forward feel free to identify yourself as a "Booger" - a devoted fan of Blog of Boo. Don't forget to donate 800 USD via PayPal, the same amount that Ad swindled out of Lordy via drunken sexting. 

I'm here with lots to report on. Lots of relationship breakups. 

Lordy as usual is at the heart of it all, falling out with every c*nt. Although this time I actually think he might be the victim in some of these cases. Firstly, Rushy brutally dumped him calling him a piggy 🐷 c*nt after he failed to block gate on a crush basement 2v2. The end of Xi clan was the direct consequence of one loss to Oldpr0 too much. RushyBoo has subsequently rejoined ORA clan and left Lordy as a single man. Why did he join ORA you ask? Well it's rumoured that ORA-Boy is extremely skilled with his lips and sucking techniques. 

Dynamic too has officially spat the dummy out. He's not taken his recent Best Of series losses well. They basically proved he is far from the best 2v2 player in the world and is not a happy bunny 🐰. Look I'm not going to offer comment on that. Just look at the following simple equation and decide for yourself the conclusion.

Dynamic + Kickn 0 Vs 6 NastyFond NastyMuad

Beasty + Kickn 6 Vs 5 NastyFond NastyMuad

Kickn confirmed that he feels more comfortable playing with Beasty. That's all I'm saying. 

BigD definitely not taken it well. Having a total narcissistic collapse. This resulted in him targeting Lordy on the RA1 discord forums. Accusing Lordy of being a racist. The term "pot calling kettle black" springs to mind given that Dynamic himself was banned on Twitch for 2 years himself for some potty mouthed racist ranting against an Israeli player. 

Dutchy also has had a mental breakdown. He's officially gone off the deep end. It seems his medication isn't working well right now. Dr Lordy advised Dutchy to up his antidepressant dosage and Dutchy has gone in the huff and stopped sending Lordy armpit pics. Dutchy blaming Lordy for being muted and ignoring the fact that he literally illegally abused and discriminated against a disabled player as the reason for being muted. Moral of the story: Take some responsibility for your own actions.

Anyway you will notice I'm alot calmer and more level headed nowadays. This is because I'm a Sober CrushyBoo. I feel like a better person because of it, keeping my nasty side at bay. I'm pleased to confirm that Lordy too is working on his alcohol demons and is being mentored by Beasty into becoming religious and leaving his past lifestyle behind. Lordy will be changing his name to Abdul on CnCNet lobby when he feels his journey is complete. We are happy for him and wish him well. 

Thanks for reading,

Crushy 2.0

PRIDE COMES BEFORE A FALL

It is clear that some Red Alert players haven't been reading their Bible.

Firstly, 3xButler of the Year, Ad was calling out crushyboo who hasn't really played in about 5 years. All know crushyboo was/is a legend of the game whereas Ad is Tier C+ with Dutchy and Ethia. Leigh therefore put up a poll "who better in prime, crush or ad?" Which I did find kind of insulting to be honest. Like putting a poll "who better in prime, Ehy or sp0ckab?" But here is the result. Only weekday male Ad and female weekend transvestite Ad voted for him/herself:

Another big ego was brought back down to Earth this week. Dynamic the self-proclaimed GOAT and his partner Kickn were completely pumped and outclassed 6-0 by Gganbu and NastyMuad. Dynamic used to think we were trolling when we said Gganbu is the best player in the world in 2v2 but this series proved it. Yes Dynamic is a phenomenon in 1v1 but in 2v2 play he is pretty meh, there's absolutely no way he could be considered the goat. Maybe the 🐐 of pint drinking but certainly not RA 2v2. Kickn should also be ashamed of getting absolutely pumped by the Romanian dancing chihuahua Muad Dib in this series. Oldpro said he is available to give coaching to Dynamic and Kickn in light of this series to help them improve.

In final news, good to see our old pal, the crazy bipolar bisexual Dutch army veteran, aka Dutchy adapting well to normal life. He delivered a Batista Bomb to an intruder in a coffee shop and is now awaiting charges. If you know any good lawyers give him a shout.

Thanks for reading,

Stone Cold Crushy Boo Boo

Clinical Psychology case study: Red Alert players

 Red Alert 1 on CnCNet is a fantastic emporium if you wish to study a range of psychological personality disorders. Many of the most famous players have their own unique psychological issues and traumas. I will provide an analysis of some of these most prominent issues so that you may increase your knowledge and awareness.

Oldpro - narcissism. Forgive Oldpro for seeming to be quite delusional and the best at everything he does, far exceeding reality. He's been mollycoddled and spoiled as a child and so was brought up to believe he was simply God's gift despite the fact that the evidence in the mirror displays a large protruding forehead and a distinctively large nose. Next time you see Oldpro ranting about how he's the God at building (when in reality he is KOBA level) just remember it's his narcissism shining through.

Lordy - addictive personality disorder. Lordy has Neanderthal brain. Once his animal bear brain realises he likes something he has no "off" switch. Be it gambling, alcohol, salami or best ofs, Lordy is completely hopeless in his fight with addictions. We should pray to Jesus for him as this is the only way he can overcome his shortcomings. The bear is always gagging for a best of 23 hours a day/365 days a year.

Beasty - PTSD. Beasty exhibits the classic signs of post traumatic stress disorder. Memories of being abused and neglected are what cause him to sometimes appear quite prickly and touchy. However underneath it all he's just a human being wanting a hug and a bit of kindness.

NastyNate - crippling anxiety. Nate is terrified of losing a 1v1 and his ego suffering damage so parades around looking for followers to placate him to avoid any threat to his self worth.

Muad Dib - stockholm syndrome/codependency. Muad has latent repressed homosexual tendencies and desires. This is proven by his obsession with ballroom dancing and physique. Underneath his aggressive bark, he really just wants a man to look after him, protect him and make him feel pretty. Just bare this in mind next time you think it is ok to ridicule him.

Dutchy - bipolar disorder. Sometimes our bald favourite ex soldier is "happy as Larry". Other times he shrieks like a proverbial banshee. You are never quite sure which sort of mood you will get Dutchy in. He is well loved by the community despite clearly not being right in the head. 

Thanks for reading,

Stay tuned for more.

Dr Crush.

A Festive Note from Crush

 This is The CrushyBoo speaking.

Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas time and a happy New year. Hope 2026 is less shit than 2025 for you. Hope those of you with family and friends have a great time, and for those of you incel loners hope you extra enjoy your fleshlight and Doritos during the holiday season .

Next year Red Alert 1 will celebrate 30 years of existence 🍾. This goes to show how old we are all getting. Relax. It's just a game. Grow wise in your old age like me and realise it's just a dumb game. Don't lose your hair like Oldpro did over this game.

Keep calm and tank.

I suggest 2026 should be an amnesty for everyone. The mentally ill/semi-retard Neanderthal players such as Dutchy and Lordy should be unmuted like everyone else so they can eat their Lego loudly and proudly once again.

Thanks for reading,

Orange Crush 🍊 

Player of the Year 2025 and Butler of the Year 2025

 2025. A year I played for a grand total of about 5 hours so way too rusty to form much of an opinion. Fortunately, however, the 2 main awards are very obvious so I won't keep you in suspense...

The award for Player of the Year 2025 goes to Pride aka San . Everyone's favourite Asian American Red Alert streamer dominated the competition this year and was the standout performer of the year. No controversy here and for once, no debate from any party. Even the £200k German crypto Porsche driver (Dynamic) is in agreement as to Pride's superiority. The best credit to San is that he does his talking on the battlefield and doesn't beef with anyone. Some may call it boring and autistic but a lack of personality coupled with robotic precision is refreshing in the red alert 1 scene. Congratulations San and I hope you extra enjoy your sweet and sour sauce tonight champ ! 🏆 

Butler of the Year is also obvious for 2025. Fighter's personal fleshlight aka Ad has regained his title. Another year spent dick hopping by Ad culminated in getting shagged senseless by Fighter in their recent 1v1 match. At this point, Fighter literally uses Ad as a training tool for his dick for when it comes to facing a proper opponent. Another year of Ad spent doing what he does best - trash talking then getting pumped - made this an easy award to issue. Congratulations Ad on becoming a 3* BUTLER OF THE YEAR (2022,2023,2025). Commiserations to last year's valiant winner, Toshy, who has been demoted to dishwasher. 

Congratulations to both winners and good luck for next year.

That's all folks,

Crushy O' Boo Boo

C Tier Players

What do we mean by C tier?  We mean a semi-ok player who is better than average and not a noob, but also someone who isn't really good enough to compete with regular pros especially in 2v2.

A key characteristic of a C tier player will be someone who knows what needs to be done but is just not as good at executing it. Another characteristic might be they are good at one small aspect of the game but their general range of skills fall short of being good enough. Eg fighter is good at tanking but not that great at other stuff. OldPro is a GOD at 10cy building (even stronger than players like kicknass at that) but pretty useless at other game aspects. 

So overall you have a picture of what constitutes a C tier player... Someone who warms the bench on the basketball team and can contribute in little spells but isn't going to get full game time or starters minutes. Someone who will hold the door open for the coach and be the bottle carrier and get a sniff of 5 minutes on the court from time to time. However if you play with C tier players as your teammate you will lose most games but it will be more respectful than if you teamed up with a total nub.

Here are 5 examples of players who I think clearly fall into this category and most would agree:

OldPro 

Fighter

Ad

Diaz

Dutchy

There are many more but these are some obvious C tier players I think of when I think of 2v2.

Thanks for reading.

Stay tuned for more.

Big Dawg CrushyBoo.

The RA25. THE FABULOUS FIVE.

 It's time for the top 5. Some may disagree on the exact order I have placed these players in - it's subjective and open to debate. Remember this is a rankings based on my own perspective in 2v2 from playing or partnering these guys, factoring in how difficult I found each opponent based on their skillset. This is a 2v2 rankings not 1v1. Whatever you think, I'm sure many would agree that the 5 players I am about to name are very worthy and deserving to be in the top 5 2v2. So here we go... Let me know if you agree 👍

5. Bea5ty (Kosovo) 48/50

Perhaps Bea5ty is featured lower than some people might expect. After all he is an extremely strong player. I gave him full marks for unlimited ore, gem maps, tactics but unlike the top 4 I had to take away some points for ore maps (he's still great just not AS great on ore maps) and also teamwork. When I think about top 5 I think of cyborg type players who are extremely difficult to beat and wins are rare. Sometimes Bea5ty does have the tendency to make some weird plays or even semi-trolling, whatever it is - he doesn't have the same killer instinct and ruthless precision as the 4 higher ranked players and that does matter at the most elite of levels. If i had a must-win game I would rather see Bea5ty on the other 2v2 team instead of these 4 other guys and that's what it boils down to - he is slightly more beatable in my experience if that makes sense.  

4. Dynamic (Germany) 48.5/50

Dynamic is a ruthless machine who plays the game correctly mathematically. Full marks on ore maps, gem maps. I gave him only 9/10 on unlimited ore because at least when I was actively playing his p4 game wasn't quite top tier. That might have changed in the last 18 months but at least in my experience in 2v2 he wasn't quite the complete finished article like he was in 1v1 where he wins 95% of his games and is a true monster. Still obviously a phenomenal player and there's no shame in being 4th 2v2 when you consider who the remaining 3 are. Again this is based on my own personal perspective and I do think this is about right. 

3. Faust (Germany) 48.5/50

It was very tough to separate Dynamic and Faust. Dynamic is maybe just that tiny bit better mechanically, but Faust has better teamwork - in fact I gave Faust 10/10 for teamwork and Dynamic only 9/10. Part of this is down to Faust's phenomenal performances in tournaments during 2020-2021 where he showed beyond any doubt that he was the king of 2v2 at that time. Again, he has the ruthless precision and win at all costs mentality that just separates him from Bea5ty in 2v2. The recent series i witnessed between San/Faust Vs Bea5t/Dynamic was also informative and showed just how strong Faust is in a teamgame situation where he is one of the toughest opponents you could face. He always tries his best and plays to his partner's strengths better than anyone. 

2. Ford aka Gganbu? (Canada) 49/50

It's not official but I am 99% certain these are the same player based on pattern recognition and playstyle. In reality you could throw a blanket over 3-5 as they are all interchangeable. Ford aka Gganbu separates himself from 3-5 and is slightly better because he basically has no weaknesses. He also has a genius and profound exact scientific understanding of the game. If Gganbu is trying his best he is a phenomenal player. I saw a close BO11 series between Gganbu/Jacob against Beast and Dynamic and Gganbu took Jacob to game 11 (5-6). No disrespect to Jacob who is an amazing player but i don't think he is making it to 9 games (3-6) with either of the other 2 players as his partner. I took away minor points on P4 for not quite A+ soviet stamina, that's the only small criticism.  Ford/Gganbu is almost the complete and perfect player but he's just not quite the  dominant legend of number 1...

1. Ehy (Finland) 49.5/50

Well this was always going to be obvious wasn't it ? I get the argument that the game may have modernised and play level may have improved in the 10 years since Ehy retired. However, you can only "beat what's in front of you". I am very confident Ehy would have adapted to the modern era. At the time of Ehy's peak he was universally considered the strongest player by far and it wasn't even a debate. Nowadays there's 2-3 names in contention for example. If Ehy tried seriously he won, pretty simple. The level of his domination over his peers was unprecedented so much so that he retired out of boredom after even games against the formidable NastyNate (clear 2nd at the time) became not challenging enough for him. The only 0.5 I took away from Ehy was teamwork as it did annoy me sometimes when he would make unserious plays when he was on my team. That's the only small blip on his otherwise perfect score. It's all relative and when you consider games between the other top 5 could all be pretty even, I am supremely confident that were a prime Ehy still around today, he would still be the clear best 2v2 player.

Hope you enjoyed the series

Thanks for reading. 

Wise Master CrushyBoo.

The RA 25. Positions 10-6.

 Welcome to the top 10 of my strongest 2v2 opponents ever in online Red Alert. This is where it starts to get serious. I've been asked why certain players haven't/won't be included in the list so I'll give some more brief mentions before I start the final 10....

At0m1 hasn't been included because I only really played with him on P4 and a handful of games on ribbon/V3, he rarely played and mostly spectated therefore it's impossible to me to accurately assess his playing level, whenever he did play it tended to just be for a short period and you could tell he was extremely strong albeit very rusty - impossible for me to rate him fairly so like kr0nic I haven't included him. Criteria is 25+ games on a diverse range of maps... Oldpr0 is better than people think and narrowly missed out as I had him 26th just ahead of the likes of Ad and Diaz. Kipp hasn't been included because I only played with him a handful of games ever and his partners were always monsters such as Faust or Tanja so I couldn't possibly assess his true level based on our 7-8 games ever.

Anyway... Without further ado, let the real business begin...

10. Jacob 46/10 (USA)

Obviously a very strong player and most people would agree he's in the top 10 2v2. The only reason really he isn't higher ranked is because the rest of the players are absolute monsters as you will see. I have him more of a 9/10 than a 10/10 in some of the categories and I think this position is fair. 

9. McLovin 46.5/10 (Norway)

Extremely strong player. The king of liquid. One of the absolute best on ore maps or general tanking. McLovin only really lost points on unlimited ore and maybe lacked some of the long game skills of some others. I do believe if McLovin had stuck around and played for longer he had the potential and talent to go near the top of this list. A fantastic player.

8. H3zb. 47/10 (Australia)

Obviously very close to the top. One of the absolute best on P4 2v2. Again, can't really criticise any aspect of his play - maybe sometimes doesn't defend as well as the absolute elite top 5 players and so I have him only just outside the top 5.

7. NastyNate 47/10 (Chile)

Very little between H3zb and Nate. H3zb is a better builder but Nate is one of the strongest pure production tankers. Nate is obviously still a very strong player and any minor shortcomings he may have in long games are negated by his brilliant tanking. I think many people would have Nate in the top 5 and the only reason he doesn't quite make it is you will see there are still some phenomenal players left.

6. Rushy 47.5/10 (Canada)

Obviously a phenomenal player. I gave Rushy almost full marks for teamwork and tactical awareness. Also he's right near the top in unlimited ore and gem map long games. He only really loses points on ore maps. Most would agree he is a wonderful partner and vicious opponent in 2v2. An excellent player and it was difficult for me to leave him just outside the top 5 - again ore maps is just what slightly brought him down behind the remaining guys. 

Thanks for reading. The Fabulous Five to come next... Congratulations to all who have made the list. 

PayPal Crushy! 😝

The RA25. Positions 15-11

As explained prior, this rankings is based on my personal 2v2 encounters. Styles make fights. Some players may have improved since I stopped playing over a year ago so I can only base it on my personal experience. Trying to be as accurate and fair as possible. So without further ado...

15. Sol3man 44.5/50  (Finland)

I had Sol3man on the same mathematical mark as Tanja. Obviously i have scored him very highly for unlimited ore, teamwork, tactics etc but he lost a ton of points for ore map play otherwise he could have been even higher. Very similar player to Tanja but on balance I found Sol3man to be just that bit more reliable than Tanja and more consistent so I've fairly ranked him higher.

14. RC1985 45/50 (Singapore) 

In 1v1 rankings RC would be around about top 5. On 2v2 he was very strong with Germany, one of the best, but with soviets there are definitely stronger opponents I've faced. RC was a very high level in general and I feel this ranking is around accurate for 2v2.

13. Kickn 45/50 (Australia)

Very similar strength to Sol3man but Kickn scored slightly higher because his versatility is better eg tanking and decent on ore maps. Kickn may not be quite as tactically astute as Sol3 but he has more range in his play. On the whole Kickn became very strong and formidable just his reactions maybe not quite as challenging as the top 10 guys.  I placed Kickn 1 position higher than RC despite them being on the same mathematical score because I feel like Kickn has slightly more versatility. 

12. 2pac. 45.5/50 (Finland)

Put simply, I consider 2pac to be the best P4 2v2 soviet long game player and this has been proven to me many times. I ranked him full marks for unlimited ore and that's why he appears so highly on the list. I remember defeating Ehy when he had various partners such as Yuz, Smash, Muad Dib, Lauta etc when 2pac was my partner. I've also observed his V2 production to be the absolute best. I've played a fair bit with 2pac on Tdawg etc where he is also very strong. A bit like Sol3 he lost points because of ore play which is a shame because he has/had the potential to be one of the true best players in the game. An excellent player and virtually unbeatable on P4 2v2 long games. Also, unlike players like Lauta and Col0 i have played a tonne with 2pac on maps other than P4 which is why i can't include guys like that on the list. 

11. San 45.50/50 (USA)

A difficult one for me to place and I'm mostly basing it on my experience of playing him. San was already very strong in all categories apart from maybe tactical awareness. Often saw him lose to semi dumb tactics or got him with an apc for example. What I will say is that I've seen video footage of games in the last year since I've been inactive and it's clear to me that San has morphed into something even stronger. He'd probably rank higher in my estimations now if I were still playing but I can only go on my personal experience and on my personal experience I found the remaining 10 players to be more challenging than San in 2v2. You will see there's still some incredibly strong players left so 11th is not an insult by any means.

Thank for reading. The immortal top 10 to follow. PayPal me you tight C*NTS if you enjoy my free content. I might not keep it free and make it subscriber-only on onlyfans for the top 5 at this rate.

Shakespeare Crushy 

The RA25. Positions 20-16.

Part 2 of my personal rankings of 2v2 skill level in opponents I've faced in online active Red Alert play from 2012-2024. Only the Top 25 have been chosen. This is positions 20-16. Enjoy...

20. Smash 42.5/50 (Belgium)

Coming in at 20 is a player some may not remember but whom definitely deserves a mention on this list. Cousinsmash was a late 90s player who returned around 2013. By 2015 he was a very strong tanker, particularly good on ribbon or ore maps. I distinctly remember a p4 2v2 series on Ehy's YouTube in which Ehy and Smash were able to defeat a formidable team in At0m1 and NastyNate which is testament to how strong Smash was. They also won a 2v2 tournament against At0m1 and Turret, NastyNate and Yuz back in the day. By the time he retired for a final time, Smash had become one of the best 2v2 tankers. I can't have him any higher because I'm not convinced older play translates as well to the modern era.

19. Blitz 43/50 (Scotland)

Blitz is one of the best GQ tankers, his tanking is very strong. He is also reasonably strong on long games on gem maps. I think his only downfall is he's not the most creative or tactically astute in team games and is the only reason I put him slightly lower than the next player on the list. If it was a 1v1 rankings Blitz would be higher up the list but teamwork and tactics is where Blitz lost some points here.

18. Leigh 43.5/50 (Scotland)

A very strong all round tactical player. Very good on ore and gem maps. Leigh would be higher on the list if not for the obvious fact that he's not known for P4 or unlimited ore cying play. This is where he loses points and so can't place him higher than 18. A very good teamwork player with good team play game awareness.

17. Mafia 43.5/50 (Germany)

Mafia became really good on ore maps 2v2 and was reasonably strong on p4 games and ribbon etc. a very solid all round player just not quite as strong as some of the higher ranked names.

16. Tanja 44/50 (Switzerland)

It was difficult to rank Tanja. Sometimes he could be frustratingly amazing but sometimes he could seem not-so-great on other occasions. I had to mark him down on teamwork because he would be first to admit he does have a tendency to just "fade out" and do random plays which accidentally sabotages his team sometimes. I ranked him extremely highly for unlimited ore and his general play and production in particular were very strong. I feel his ranking is about accurate as there are a few others who were more consistent despite Tanja's raw strength. 

Thanks for reading. Parts 15-11 to follow.

La Crushella

The RA25. Positions 25-21

 Congratulations to everyone who has made the RA25. The Ranking of my strongest 2v2 opponents in over 10 years of playing online Red Alert. I am now happy to release the first wave of players...

25. Robskate (USA)   39/50

Robskate is a very strong tanker. Congratulations on making the RA25! What brings Robskate down is his lack of ability in medium-long games. He excels in ore maps and is very strong on maps like crush's basement or spacecraft but on p4 2v2 or tdawg you can forget it. The players higher up the rankings exhibit a wider range of skills. 

24. Lordy (England)   39.5/50

Lordy is solid and the same level on all map types. His main skill is good at tactics and sneak attacks and he is capable of often pulling off upset wins. His level is consistent and his gameplay is versatile which is why he ranked higher than Robskate as he has more range of skills. However Lordy lacks the innate strength of some of the players higher up the rankings. 

23. Kobra (England) 41.5/50

Kobra is a strong player with his best categories being 'teamwork' and ore maps. Perhaps his only shortcoming is that he's fairly predictable and one dimensional so he lost points in tactics and unlimited ore maps for me. In my experience I did always find it easier playing against Kobra than some others higher up the list because he was fairly predictable and I felt like my win ratio against him was quite high as a result. Overall he is a strong tanker who deserves his place and is slightly better than the likes of robskate and lordy but he's just not as strong as some of the higher ranked players and I think this is a fair assessment.

22. Muad Dib (Romania) 41.5/50

I scored Muad very highly on unlimited ore and quite high on gem maps. However I simply had to put him lower for ore maps and tactics. He's obviously a very formidable opponent in long games and is also a competent tanker but his adaptability isn't the strongest. He often loses to rushes or off-beat tactics eg Tanya sneaks. He's a strong player but he's not the full package and so not as skilled as those in the top 20. Kobra and Maudib worked out on the same score in my mathematical rankings but in my personal experience I found Maudib to be overall a more formidable opponent and so I have ranked him above Kobra.

21. Yuzgen (Turkey)  42/50

I scored Yuzgen one of the highest in the whole rankings on the Tactics category. Yuzgen is a very smart player and he is obviously very capable on gem maps and cying games, and on tanking and ore maps he is better than he is given credit for. Overall he is definitely a stronger player than 25-22 in 2v2 format and deserves his place in the RA25. He narrowly missed out on the top 20 because you will see there's a lot of strength in depth in these rankings and Yuzgen is a respected foe for anyone in 2v2.

The next post will feature ranks 20-16 so stay tuned...

Judge Crush.

The RA25. MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT

 The RA25. A major project announcement. 

Well this is the start of a series of posts you have all wanted to see for a very long time. 2v2 is by far the most popular game type in Red Alert 1. I guess it's a combination of 1v1 being pretty one dimensional (better tanker wins 90% of the time) but also 2v2 being more fun and maybe requiring a greater range of skills. Being the wise owl that I am I will try my best to take away any bias, personal grudges and give an accurate fair assessment of the top 25 2v2 opponents I ever encountered in my 10+ years of experience on Red Alert. I feel having played 1000s of games against the vast majority of great 2v2 players in the CnCNet era, winning many games and losing many games, that I'm in a decent position to offer a consensus on this. 

The criteria

1) I will only include players whom I have a decent sample size of games with (25+ seems fair).

2. I have rated the players I think could be on the list and have narrowed it down to 25 (started with 32)

3. Obviously not including myself or rating myself.

4. 1v1 level is completely irrelevant and not factored into these rankings - it's a different game type. 1v1 rankings would be completely different.

5. Players who ONLY play P4/Rasta cannot qualify for the list as I can't assess their gem/ore play.

6. Grading out of 10 on 5 categories to find a total net score in order to categorise the players. The 5 categories I settled on are as follows:

1. Unlimited ore maps

2. Gem maps

3. Ore maps

4. Teamwork

5. Tactics/Awareness

It goes without saying that this is my personal point of view from what I've personally experienced so please do not feel offended if I rated someone higher than you or you did not make the list - perhaps said player performs better against me than you do and you may well be stronger than them overall. After all - styles make fights. Given it's over many years and my playing level has fluctuated significantly over the years (depending on how actively I was playing, how much I was drinking etc) it is also obviously impossible for me to give a completely accurate assessment. I will try my best.

I will first give some honourable mentions. My next post will feature rankings 25-21 (I need some more time to analyse and make the rankings as fair as possible). Then I will release these in batches of 5. To keep you all excited and give a fair game biography of each player who made the list!

On a side note, if you enjoy my journalism and want to support/motivate me then please consider donating via PayPal in the top right hand corner of blog. I have decided to disable ads on the blog to make it more user friendly at some personal cost (the ad revenue did bring some reasonable side income). I would appreciate any donations or suggestions - feel free to comment on email in the PayPal link if there's any topics you wish me to cover in future.

Naturally there have been 100s of players I've played with over the years so I think to make the list is an achievement regardless whether you are 2nd or 25th.

Before I complete the first batch of rankings I would like to give some honourable mentions to players I have excluded and the reasons why.

•  Kr0nic. Was obviously a phenomenal player and tanker especially, however he played during an era I was not very active. I only ever played a handful of games with him (less than 10) therefore i cannot include him based on the criteria. Impossible for me to rank him fairly. 
• Pinky323 and Yaunger and other Chinese superpros. Some of these players were very strong but unfortunately there was often bad lag in the games and I did not get to play with them as much as I'd want to.
• Katsh and Blank - both very strong 1v1 players. Have not played enough with them 2v2.

So I  hope you are all excited. I will release the list in batches of 5 and you can all speculate and predict who will make the official RA25. Given this blog now receives over 100,000 page views per month this can be considered the OFFICIAL list.

Thanks for reading. To be continued...

Oracle Crushy 

The return of Faust: The RA Pandemic Era Legend

 That little minx, Mr Anonymous, appeared in my Inbox yesterday evening linking me to YouTube footage of an eventful 2v2 match in the scene. Faust - the man who outperformed everyone during the pandemic era team tournaments - has returned. Mr Anonymous encouraged me to report this pro match to my audience and to offer my thoughts. It features Dynamic (BigD) and Beast (pizzaboy 🍕) Vs Faust (Fuhrer) and San (HappyPrideMonth 🌈) in a best of 11 series.

For those wishing to watch, the returning German bull, Faust, recorded the games and posted them here:

*thoughts and spoilers below*

The biggest takeaways from this series for me are as follows:

1) San is clearly now one of, if not the best 2v2 players in RA in 2025. He held or even outplayed beast in most games. A very impressive 6-4 win for Faust and San, well played all.

2) Faust was an excellent 2v2 and team player during the pandemic years of 2020-2021: his performance in tournaments in those years was the best of anyone and he had enormous success in team format.

3) 2v2 and 1v1 are clearly very different games. Dynamic is one of, if not the best active 1v1 players but this series showed him to probably be the weakest of the 4 players in the series in the 2v2 format. (no shame in that). They are 2 different games. Dynamic is pretty much just a better version of robskate  - good at low tank battle micro and Q but lacking in elite team play and game awareness. Faust completely outplayed Dynamic in most games and was the main reason his team won: Beast and San went 50-50, maybe 55-45 for San.

4) I would like to see Beast partner with a stronger 2v2 player and ask for a rematch with San and Faust. It would be interesting to see how Beast and H3zb or Beast and Rushy would fare against them: better team synergy I think they would have a chance to win. Get it set up !!!

5) Could Oldpro take Dynamic to one side and offer him some free 2v2 coaching and help him get to the same elite level that he is in 1v1? Maybe Lauta could help coach him in P4.

Thanks to Faust, hope to see some more videos on your channel in future. Give him a subscribe.

Crush Belichick.

RED ALERT NEWS 25TH MAY 2025

 Your favourite uncle crushy checking in here with some fresh content for you. It's been over a year since I've played Red Alert but Mr Anonymous continues to flood with my inbox with some messages 😂😂😂😂😂 so I'm here to feedback with some of the current affairs within the RA community.

1) Yuz is BACK! Rumour has it that some X-rated Lordy bathtub pics were what seduced the Turkish Rambo to come back from the abyss and get pumping oldpro on 2v2 BOs again.

2) Oldpro still getting pumped and Maud Dib everyone's favourite Romanian Chihuahua still barking in lobby after every loss. Somethings never change. "You can polish a turd but it will still smell"

3) Kickn still missing! Has not been seen since his previous ventures Yuzcoin and Ehycoin failed spectacularly. Rumour has it he was last seen in Thailand trying to pedal his new cryptocurrency "Ladyboycoin". What do I think has happened ? I reckon he's been thrown in a Thai jail and is now being passed around like a blunt! Any sign of our favourite big Aussie strip club bouncer ? We love you Kickn come back so Oldpro can get some wins again!

4) BigD still lurking putting on a brave face but we all know he's gagging for a bit of Gganbu. Unfortunately our favourite elusive autistic savant Mr gganbu is nowhere to be seen.

5) Kobra raising money for a lordy rehab session. Get in touch with him if you want to help a good cause

But overall scene still pretty boring since none of the absolute legends of the game like Crush, Ehy or Spockab have been online.

Take care

Am still am still crushy from the block!

Ooooo Yuzgen

 Blog update 12th March 2025

I've been asked why there's been no hardcore blog action for a few months. 

The reason my writing has been scarce is because there's simply nothing to report on.

Let me make it clear...

NO YUZGEN = NO RED ALERT

Yuz was the whole ecosystem for competition in the game. 17 hour streams, 1500 ladder games every month, 2v2s, pumping Lordy in best ofs etc. Without Yuz there is no RA. He is the most important player in the game by far - the communal spunk bucket if you will.

So, if you want more blog action and you want to save the game then you best get Yuz back addicted again. Get him proper hooked like a crackwhore relieving a sweaty tired trucker just for another hit. It's the only way. Do what you can to get Yuz back proper addicted.

Yuz: if you are reading this: OldPro says you are ez as fk and smashes you 10-0.

Thanks for reading.

Hollywood Hulk CrushyBoo.

PLAYER OF THE YEAR 2024 and MERRY CRIMBO

 

Merry Christmas you shower of w*kners.

Well it's the moment you've all been waiting for. The Player of the Year 2024. Before I start I would like to thank you all for continuing to ensure that this is the biggest and best Red Alert 1 fansite on the internet and the greatest blog and resource in RA History. I've been doing this for 5 years now and I wouldn't keep doing it if it weren't for the fans! Especially since I'm not really active in playing these days, the pleasure of helping the community is what keeps me going! Special thanks to the player from Chile who has over 1000 unique page views on this blog since 2020! I have no idea who he is but I'm honoured that Blog of Boo is so popular in Chile! Thank you 😊 

Before we reveal the winner, some honourable mentions and some reasons they didn't quite make player of the year:

Gganbu - While he is obviously the strongest player in the world in both 2v2 and 1v1, we feel that Gganbu wasn't active enough over the past year to deserve the award. Being the best player doesn't automatically mean you are the MVP - some others had far more impact in 2024.

Dynamic - Obviously a great player and right up there close on Gganbu's coat tails. I've not been able to play much but I have been able to watch some action on Lautatube and Pr1de Twitch and it does seem he loses more than he wins on P4 2v2 for example. If he ups his game on P4 and spends less time driving the 200k Porsche then he might win the title in 2025.

San - Good streamer but doesn't really play 1v1 and there are some others who are still a bit better than he is.

Bea5ty - Too busy making quality pizzas these days so hadn't played as much. 

I can now reveal that the results of the poll for PLAYER OF THE YEAR are in. It was a unanimous victory 32-14 in favour of the winner, by UNANIMOUS DECISION...

LORDY

Well there you have it. The best man won. The people have spoken. The Bear is officially more popular than Diaz. Much like Trump coming back from the political abyss, the Ogre has now triumphed over his mortal enemy. No doubt the Bear will be gagging for a bit of bo9 once his ban is lifted in a few days time. Is this the end of an era for RA? Will Diaz's reign be remembered like Biden's. Hold onto your Salami. Time will tell...

Thanks for reading.

Crushy Claus 🎅

BUTLER OF THE YEAR 2024

 Well with 2 days to go before we crown Player of the Year, we thought it would increase the hype if we give the Butler of the Year Award its own post, such is its historic prestige and significance. This award is on a par with POTY in the bowels of RA history and can be seen as the Champions League to POTY's Premier League. This year is particularly absorbing as the reigning and defending 2-time back to back champion, Ad, is going for a historic 3-peat! So read on to find out if he has secured this monumental achievement or if someone else has sucked and rimmed better than Ad this year.

First up, a reminder of previous winners 🏆 

2021 Budwouter (butlering for Dynamic)

2022 Ad (butlering for OP)

2023 Ad (freelance butlering most of lobby)

At the halfway stage of this year, many thought that Ad securing the 3-peat was a certain lock. However, the panel agreed that Ad became perhaps a tad too complacent throughout the 2nd half of the year. If there was an award for ass-sniffer of the year then Ad would have won that hands down for his flamboyant purveying of Diaz's posterior, but unfortunately ASOTY is not on offer at this present time.

Therefore, bombshell moment, the 3-peat hasn't happened!!!

Ladies and gentleman, we have a new Butler of the Year for 2024! Stand up and applaud your new BOTY, Toshy!!! Congratulations!

Toshy exhibited the traits of what we think constitutes an elite butler during the voting period. Toshy hopped from clan to clan ( or c*CK to c*CK ? ) at least 5 or 6 times this year to the point we have lost track of his current clan. Toshy was also an expert at fellating the megapros in lobby whenever they would login. Such eager butlering has not been seen since the days of the legendary Budw. Ad will need to significantly up his game in 2025 if he wishes to regain his title as it is clear that positioning himself as Diaz's weed carrier will not be enough.

Be sure to congratulate TOSHY on this phenomenal achievement! 

And remember, get ready and get hyped as we find out who has been victorious between the Shroomhead and the Bear for POTY in a few days time! May the best man/they/them win!

Thanks for reading, happy Christmas to all 🎄 Hope Santa gets you cying lessons with OldPr0

Rudolphyboo

RED ALERT AWARDS 2024 !!!! PART 1 !

 We are excited to announce that unanimous results have been decided for all but 1 of this year's awards, therefore we are free to announce the winners of all the secondary awards at this juncture. The most important award, PLAYER OF THE YEAR is still open for voting and I shall be including a poll to decide on this year's winner. 2 candidates this year, polar opposite, have stood out above everyone else for POTY. The voting panel agrees that POTY should be given to the player who has made the biggest impact and contribution to the game over the previous 12 months, and not necessarily the strongest player. Therefore players such as Gganbu and Dynamic are not in the running for this award as there's not been much notable competitive action this year - instead, we feel that there are 2 standout candidates and I am sure most will agree. These are of course, N8Diaz and Lordy. The poll will decide once and for all who is the most popular of the 2 and who takes home the prize of POTY2024. This race will no doubt be even more consequential than Trump vs Kamala. Additionally, we will save the other most important award, Butler of the Year, for part 2 so stay tuned!

Anyway, without much further ado, it's time to decide who has taken home the rest of the prestigious awards:

Most Improved Player 2024

A year ago, Fighter would only beat Ad 6-4 or 7-3 in a 10 game series. However, nowadays, he absolutely pumps him and it would be 10-0 head to head. There's no point in Fighter vs Ad anymore because Fighter has proven he is a tier above his fellow countryman and would absolutely smash him in a Best Of series nowadays.

Additionally, Fighter was able to win the padawan ladder by easily beating players such as robskate while all the big pros were away from keyboard and so proved he is much better than those guys now.

Therefore, Fighter is the clear winner of the MIP2024 Award. 

Rookie of the Year 2024

Bart reliably informs me that there's a unanimous winner of this award. The player known by many names but notably [soul]cycle or Recyclebin most often takes this prize. I've not crossed paths with this player myself because I've not been active for the last year but I am assured this player is yet another talented Australian on the CnCNet ranks. I look forward to observing his/her progress, but please, for fuck sake, choose ONE name and stick to it! I know that's hypocritical since I'm known as RedCarpet, MrBoo and others instead of Crushy but I've earned that status due to being an absolute legend of the game, much like The Undertaker (The Deadman, The American Badass) of WWE fame. Newer players should choose one name and stick to it to make them easily identifiable to the seasoned veterans until they earn their stripes in the pr0 ranks.

Streamer of the Year 2024

This of course goes to San for keeping the plebs entertained with some pro action. Find his channel here. LINK TO SAN TWITCH

Lifetime Achievement Award 2024

The panel decided that there's one individual who is extremely deserving of this award. We have decided to soften the blow of his 30-day ban for racist outbursts, by awarding the enigmatic OldPr0 (aka [420]Ryan) with the Lifetime Achievement Award.

OldPr0 has become an integral part of Red Alert popular culture over the past 10 years through his contribution of 12 hours per day losing at 2v2. People will regularly say to each other "stop being an oldpr0" or "ok oldpr0" when anyone makes excuses after a loss. The association of bitching after a loss and the name oldpr0 have become one and the same, completely synonymous at this point, and this is why we love him.

So not only does OldPr0 spend most of the day getting paid by the Canadian social security system to sit and get pumped by KOBA and UFF-Magno on P4 2v2, but he's also a legendary lobby general chat stalwart in his own right.

We should also mention the anomaly which comes with OldPr0. Despite his limited success in competitive play, OldPr0 has the distinction of being Kickn's bogey player. For some reason, Kickn seems to have a mental block when he plays against OldPr0 and usually gets pumped. Maybe this is because they have similar playstyles and OldPr0 is just a much stronger player than Kickn on 10 cy, but whatever it is, Kickn always seems to get pumped by OldPr0 when they're on opposite teams on 2v2.

Congratulations on your award OldPr0 and we look forward to hearing about how a pig flew past the window and that's why you lost your next game once your ban is uplifted! 

RA would not be the same without this character and he deserves his legacy to be cemented in the annals of Red Alert history with this award.

POLL FOR POTY2024 BELOW and a reminder that BUTLER of the year will follow in part 2 as well!   DON'T READ THE FAKE NEWS, STICK TO BLOG OF BOO.